my grandmother helped me with make up and putting on my first dress

an email to a couple friends of the truth of how i learned to be me!!

i realize now that a lot of what my grandmother helped me start i am just finding a way to finish it today. 

in my grandmother's bedroom while my grandfather was watching TV, probably around 12 yrs old, I asked my grandmother to help me put on make up for the first time. she said, " Donnie you can never tell your aunt or mother i helped you."  so she began to show me how to put make up on then i said, lol let me do it, then my grandmother said you are pressing too hard when you put on the lipstick.

we made sure all of the makeup was removed before going downstairs. my grandmother said we cannot do this too often but after the event below we had to make sure my grandfather was not in the house when she showed me how to apply make up.( later i told her i did like it better the way my sister put on make up so she said you watch her then you will know how to put on make up)

so one day my grandmother and I were in her bedroom folding clothes after they had been washed and dried. then my grandmother said what you think of these two dresses. i told my grandmother i would not be caught dead in them. so said if she could she would give them to me. i basically said thank you but no thank you. then she shocked me!!!

Donnie which one go you like better? i guess this dress? she said why don't you try it on? i said sure!! so i went into the upstairs bathroom and tried on the dress and my grandmother commended "that is not too bad looking on you" i simply said , " it is ok!" then my grandfather began to climb the stairs to their bedroom.

so I quickly ran with her dress on me to the bathroom to change. apparently my aunt Mary jeanne had asked my grandfather to keep an eye on yes. so i smartly slipped out of the bathroom quickly and hid the dress i had worn in spare bedroom. my grandfather went into the bathroom looking through the cabinets for more than likely the dress. there was nothing out of the ordinary in the cabinets. my grandmother asked me where did you hide the dress? i told her in the spare bedroom.

so then my aunt and mother came back to my grandmother's house and my grandmother asked my mother if my sister would like the dresses? my mother and aunt had talked to my grandfather and asked me and my grandmother," did you try the dresses on Donnie." we denied it up and down.

so then because of grandmother powdering my nose and helping me put on my first dress my aunt and mother did the unthinkable!!! my aunt and mother could not get me institutionalized so they target my grandmother. my aunt and mother told my one uncle, " something is wrong with grandma because she is forgetting things. "  i told my grandmother and we knew what was going on and my grandmother said I will talk to your uncle.

i was so scared that they would take my grandmother away from that i went to my uncle next door and told him what my mother and aunt were up to. my uncle said that is BS!!! i asked him to call his other brother and i told him i am scared they will lock up my grandmother. my uncle said that is not going to happen.

then at a picnic i approached an aunt through marriage who i thought i could trust. i told her what my mother and aunt were doing. my aunt said" donnie do not worry your uncle and I will make sure nothing happens to your grandmother.

then my mother and aunt confronted me since i had told everyone what i had heard. i said i don't know what you are talking about. so my uncles talked to another uncle and there was a meeting and the attempted institutionalizing of my grandmother was over for the moment.

but since they could get to me or my grandmother my aunt and mother tried another tactic. they told me bad things about my grandmother and said, " you don't know your grandmother like you do."  i asked my uncle and he said that my aunt and mother were distorting the truth. my grandmother said the said event did not happen and you know it Connie and Mary Jeanne.

my grandmother told me in private that she was not happy about how my aunt and mother were behaving. she said " i did not raise them like this."

so my grandmother became my mentor, friend and a woman that i told all my secrets too begin at the age of 7.  she helped me learn how to adapt to the world knowing who i was nearly from birth. she said," Donnie you cannot be you here." you need to travel and do it for me since i did not have a chance in my lifetime. my grandmother gave me a life that few can understand unless you walked in my shoes. 

there never was a coming out party as a teenager in my family because i think everyone knew who i was from an early age based on all the traumatic events when i was very young.

thank you