hi
I have to share this video with you which helped me think because it was nearly where I found myself. There were a few women around me that pulled me out of serious depression by simply giving me their time and let me know others do care. This is not a transgendered issue but a society issue.
I had an unbelievable day. First I went to the va for my therapy appt and ran into a woman that is about as upbeat as anyone I know. She always tells me how beautiful I am and I blush and say thank you each time. But today I met her in the elevator and she told me the same as always I am beautiful and I said you are very pretty too. then before I knew it she reached toward my face and pulled a hair out of my face. I simply said thank you as we continued to talk. I find her very attractive and ... she is sweet too. this Arabic woman works at the Portland VA . this is why the story of the va that few know . the news does not accurately represent the overall organization.
Then I went to my bank to close an account which was because the service at the bank changed with my friend the assistant banker leaving the bank. Her replacement wow .... so I go to close all of my accounts and the banker did not even ask me why I wanted to close the account. I thought to myself I made the right decision to leave this bank.
After that I went to Chase bank and wow I am glad I left the other bank. The banker spend over one hour opening my account and explaining my options to save money for surgery. I am very direct in my life and told her I need to save 15k to go to thailand to have the surgery done. and if you know me you would understand I chat up when I talk to anyone. before i know it she was sharing a little of her life with me and me with her. plus moving to this bank veterans are given preference and there are no service fees on their accounts ... with limitations of course.
then I take the train in portland and before I know it I am talking to a couple younger women and one of their father's is from Iran . I told her I was outside Iran on a us Navy ship when the hostage situation happened in 1979 . the three of us were talking about the difference in cultures.
this is where you would think I would say that this is a rare occurrence but the reality is in my world since I put myself out there since on hormones I have days like this very often. just before I talked to the woman from Iran I had talked to a woman that just moved to portland who was a college professor in latin american literature. Portland is an incredibly diverse city and I love it here.
I love my life but make no doubt this disease is the biggest challenge i have had to taken on in my life. i am scared of surgery and everything about it and what happens after surgery?
thank you
rachel
ps here is the video that really get you to think of why you should not even think of suicide
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jexv1LMmSqY&list=LLc8dChWdbSxWn7OKYGZoanw
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