private email to a friend with edited info

hi

I thought I would share a private email to a friend with edited info for our privacy

thank you

rachel


I am on a journey and my ability to piece the puzzle together is very unique . i ran across the first article in science daily about suicide rate and BDNF. I searched the key words BDNF and estradiol. (not sure how to turn off bold sorry) I came up with a possible reason why estradiol was/is so effective with me not possible others have a different experience.

it turns out what is termed BDNF is effected estradiol in a positive way. I also read a article where some doctors prescribe estradiol and recommend exercise. this is precisely what I have followed over the especially the first six months. perhaps this would explain my intense experience on estrogen which was mixed with a health dose of dopamine as ...... would say.

I also read an article that the protective layer that estradiol gives the brain can be undone by progesterone which used in treatment of some trangendered patients especially in the  community. it is my understanding that progesterone is prescribed for patients that do not respond well with estrogen to develop breast.

However, in my case the right mix of exercise and estradiol has challenged me like no other I have talked to so far. the left handed issue I have experienced and a switch of hand dominance is rare at best. and with me the more I fight it the more it creates anxiety. one cannot fight mother nature.

I am somewhat better and realized today that it is not transitioning to female or how one what to label it that has challenged me but deprogramming a marine and...... from fighting.(edited out info) . the realization that this is my core issue which is holding back my healing is very painful.

it took me nearly breaking to admit this is the core issue and I learned this while I was running today. I don't know what happens during running but weights do not have this same effect. the .......r and the training of the marines has programmed me to do one thing fight the enemy but now the enemy is me.

to move forward I have to let the woman within me guide me. letting go of the passive aggressive behavior and fight and flight mode is what i need to heal before surgery. only the woman inside can heal me and guide me through surgery and the whole process. but every time i feel any stress i go back to fight and flight and all of it's self destructive behaviors.


here are the links that I am referring to in the email

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/10/131010205325.htm?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+sciencedaily%2Fhealth_medicine%2Fpsychology+%28ScienceDaily%3A+Health+%26+Medicine+News+--+Psychology+Research%29

http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=8653809

http://www.grad.illinois.edu/content/effects-estradiol-and-exercise-brain-derived-neurotrophic-factor-levels-untrained-naïve-fema