my grandmother, my toughess and the rachel's world

I have focused on the challenges on estrogen but not  I have not  shared my story prior to estrogen. I have always lead with my heart. On my wall in my living room is the phrase, “ follow your heart.”  I have followed that statement all of my life. I don’t regret doing it but I have been hurt many times because of it.  I am soft, sensitive and get hurt easily and this will never change.   

In 1977 I was a senior in High school without the resources to go out on my own and live the life I have dreamt of so many times in my dreams. Then I friend in the high school band asked me , simply, “ Donnie wanna join the marines?” why not the marines would pay for my education at Penn State University but the thought process was with my heart and took all of 2 seconds to complete. 

After college I in 1988 I headed to Texas to live with my girlfriend at the time.  She knew nothing about “ rachel.”  I arrived in Texas with no car and no job. Again the thought process was with my heart and I wanted to live my life on my terms.  So the first week there I applied for a job selling aluminum siding. Yes I was about to embark on my sales career as a “ Tin woman.” Opps is that tin man lol.  The problem was I had no car to go to my appointments so I walked into a car dealership and applied for a 1988 escort. Again I had no money so why and how would I afford a down payment?

The sales woman at the dealership pushed the sale forward and within days she called me to say you have been approved. The dealership did some creative financing but I still needed the money for the insurance to pick up the car. So , as so many times in my life, a woman helped me in the crunch and she had a friend that was an insurance agent. The insurance agent paid the first premium and then I paid her back on my first pay check. 

To compound the challenge I never sold anything in my life.  But within two weeks  I had a new car and job in a state I never lived.  This is the world according to rachel. My mother was right I can do anything I put my mind to.  I never fail and I never quit.  This is not a marine thing. This is a rachel thing and I have been like this all of my life.

My mother said so many times, “Donald you have thick head.” I am tough as mother and my grandmother . ‘to quote my grandmother when I asked her if she wanted a walker because she was having hard time  walking in her 80’s “ “Donnie I shove that walker up your ass.”  I have my grandmother’s toughness  and miss her dearly.  Looking back I am so much like her and just as tough as her. 

My conversations I have in public started with my grandmother when I was teenager. We would talk about racism, gays and lesbians, the catholic church , etc. everything and anything was on the table to talk about. We would intense decisions that lasted hours and hours some days and neither one toed the party line.  The both of us spoke our mind in a respectful way . so  when I speak in public it is so natural because I have been doing this for nearly 40 plus years. 

Fyi no I did not tell my grandmother about rachel.  I am not sure what she would say . I know she loved me unconditionally and was the rock with me in my hour of darkness when I was diagnosed with arthritis in 1997.  it took me 2 yrs to push that disease to a point of living with it. I risked so much by taking enbrel when it was in the experimental stages. I always seem to find a way to not only survive but thrive.  Why? Probably my attitude and my drive to succeed to prove it can be done.