email " i may know why others don't speak in public"

I realized long ago I had to find a way to blend/merge the past with the present and future. On my wall are my accomplishments as "Donald" and "Rachel." I cannot change the past nor would I want to in my mind. I served my country as a Marine, graduated from Penn State and raised my daughter. effectively would amount to cutting myself and destroy me.


I have read and heard others like me that once they " transition " that they want to forget the past because it is too painful I would suspect. This is a zig ziglar thing where I turn a negative into a positive. where others see their past as a negative and have lived a lie which I would concur I have done too. however, I can only move forward and accept things for what they are. this is easier said then done but it is necessary to heal in my opinion. I have known this for nearly 1 1/2 years . this is critical in the healing process but how to do it is another thing.


I believe this may be the central reason why others do not want to go public about their stories. You have to open up wounds that only god could help one heal. I literally have opened up and continue to open up more wounds by the day. but with each challenge I overcome this accelerates the estrogen and heals me more.

edited out due to private email

. I hope as I go more public others will it is safe to speak out . again I cannot stop what I started with god's guidance. honestly most days I feel like the thread I am holding by will break. 'during these days my breast hurt so much and then I become light headed. this is when at times , on occasion, the experience is so intense I feel like I am going to pass out.  Not so long go the experience was so shocking to my body my vision became so blurred I could not see at work. I literally holding my hand over one eye and relying on my memory for the sales script.


thank you for helping me in my journey. I cried a lot this weekend because I have so much help and still my life is so surreal.


rachel


ps edit out..... I think my drug of choice is estrogen and subconsciously my body and mind want more and more estrogen.