Monday, September 8, 2014

the hell and what keeps from the grips of suicide

hi
this may be the shortest email i ever write but the love of my grandmother, the both of you, .....really defused the anger so many see in the community. in my mind i want to get anger and mad and push people away but my grandmother and the both of you showed me people love me as me.

the random acts of love and god pulled me from a hell i think of every day but i am not in hell anymore. i feel very confident that the women around me and god will guide me through surgery and beyond. but in the moment when i am thinking of suicide the love of god, my grandmother and the both of you pulls me back. this love as i cry gives me so much strength to fight the depression, anxiety and thoughts of suicide and the faith in me that i can do it pulls me out of the depression and thoughts of suicide.

i cannot do this alone! i tried for decades but there is no way anyone can go through what i have and live to tell about it who has not attempted suicide. the love of women of god guided me back home.

thank you and god bless

ps this is an email to two dear friends but there are a few more women that watch over me while i go through this hell

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