here are the two unedited emails to two dear friends
i am so blessed that you .......... are in my live.
truly is the gospel truth i am not sure i would be here without all of
you . i understand why the others have so little effectiveness while on
estrogen and why my on experience is so unique . it has nothing , and i
mean nothing, to do with the strength nor dosage of estrogen but purely
the environment and people that are in your life. this last week is
proof positive because all week my estrogen did not work and last night i
started to cry again and this morning i was a basket case again. i was
crying also this morning because i am back to my emotional self. i am
thankful for you and everyone in my inner circle.
i even told ....... i think the reason all of this works
between all of us is i would not care if you were a stay at home mom,
manager at macdonald. we see each other as human beings then as women
then whatever label society chooses to put on us. none of our life is
an accident and especially the last three years of my life.
thank you and god bless
rachel
ps
i remember when i said about god and you said some of us believe in
god... and last note a woman told me about how her class taught her
that the estrogen makes us women , like me, more gabby. as my mother
would say i beg to differ and I will simply say my aunt told me in the
past, long ago, i have the gift of gab. i talked non stop since i was a
kid. my mother would say, " donald would you please shut up .. you are
driving me nuts." i cannot speak for the others but my :"big mouth' came
with me at birth.
i think so many are reaching and trying to explain why estrogen
does what is does and perhaps i/we were just born with a female brain
and others cannot understand how that is possible from the prospective
of science yet. in god's eyes i honestly wonder at times if he is
looking through my eyes of how others treat me? i also would not trade
my body nor mind for anyone else .. i have thought of it .... i love me
as me but need a slight modification .. really soon..... ok i will shut
up now lol
email 2 :
i wanted to forward my thoughts to.......to you. i am so glad all of
you are in my life because it gives me a fighting chance. i think my
life is so different on estrogen because there is a big goal which i am
trying to turn into a group project with a few good friends. the big
goal creates excitement, ziglar, and changes how i look at the world and
my experience on estrogen. if i had my way the va i would be the first
for the va to so the srs surgery. i know that is not possible so i am
trying to do the next best thing by going to thailand and coming home
so my friends at the va can help me heal and we all can learn from this
unique experience.
i have heard too many times in blogs and facebook
groups " I will not be the general population educational tool." i ask
why not? then how can you expect others to understand you if you are
not willing to share. i taught my daughter that sharing is caring . i
intend to share and care the rest of my life and this also alters my
experience of hormones . i wish so many others could see the world
through my eyes and begin to heal. i hope in time i can help others but i
need to help me first,
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