Wednesday, September 18, 2013

how about a break god... blood in urine

I noticed I had a burning sensation after I urinated today but initially thought nothing of it.  wow I was wrong again . I have never seen blood in my urine. however I had night sweats two nights ago but I thought it was related to my arthritis. my arthritis produces nights like that when it flares up.  wow managing two major diseases at one time is a lot to ask of anyone.

I am very, very , very scared and all I can think is I will be taken off my hormones.  I have come so far in the past two years. how about a break god?

so much can go wrong on hormones and yet the community is so tight lipped about what it is really like on hormones. I will head to the portland va tomorrow and pray to god it is nothing too serious.

I have work to do at xerox as I try to leverage my skill sets to rewrite the company's presentation and as my mother would say, " I don't have time for a hospital, stay; I need to get back to work ." but i realize I need to take care of myself first and go from there.

I might come across as so tough and some of you think she is a marine.  I am so soft spoken and cry so easy and on demand at times.  i am strong but not tough like a marine but mentally tough a they come.  I have yet to yield but this gender identity disease has tested my resolve to become who I was born to be.

let me go now and cry and pray to god all will be ok tomorrow at the hospital

thank you

rachel

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