Hi again,
I am in the process of editing my speech that I gave at the Regional Veteran's Health Care Conference this Past February. I am going to post the speech in my blog once I delete personal information regarding my family, friends and others.
Before I release this document to the public I want to go on record and state I am not nor have ever been an employee of the Veterans Administration in any capacity. Also, I was not compensated for my speech nor will I be for any future speeches. I do not receive any gifts of kind from the VA for my work with them. It is purely altruistic in my desire to break down stereotyping of the transsexual community.
Also, no one outside the VA Health Care System has my permission to use my personal experiences not any information of any type for any purpose.
I am simply working with the Veteran's Administration health care system in the Portland Area for a better understanding of what it is really like in the life of a woman (transsexual). The unique prospective that I bring to the table is that I am very transparent and non political except my desire for equal medical treatment for all veterans. We veterans are a "cross section" of society as a whole and everyone in the Veteran community deserves to be treated as an equal with no one expecting special treatment.
I was able to speak at the conference because of my deep belief that my concerns were never about "rachel" , nor the transsexual community but all veterans. That being said no other woman like me had ever had the opportunity to speak at any regional conference in the Veterans Health Care System. I knew what was at stake and whether I liked or not I represented an entire subculture of the VA system. I had the potential to reach the directors and leadership of the four state region and impact not only the leadership but everyone they came in contact with them which would include their families.
I had given sales talks before but only in much smaller venues and all that was at stake was a simple sale of a product or service. I would have to be at my very best down to my nails, dress and hair. My sales training had me well prepared but I did not realize how much my character would be tested with the death of my mother less then three weeks before the speech.
Looking back, I have immense respect for the leadership not questioning my ability to speak on the heels of the death of my mother. Not once did any one say, " ... are you going to be able to give the speech with the death of your mother ....?"
Rachel
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
"little Rachel" runs into brick chimney (literally)
I want to put a face and personality behind the face that
paints a true and accurate picture of whom I am and who I was growing up. I also think having the ability to laugh at
one’s self is a very important in life and helps you get through the hard times. So, at my expense, in this blog we all will
get to laugh a little about me.
My hand and eye coordination is not the best to say the
least especially in sports. I never
played sports unless you want to count 4th string flag football in 5th
grade. That is far as my sports career
went in school. Music was big in my
family and playing in the band was in my future.
However, I always like that word however, people use it when
saying I like what you did and then they slide in however or but and you know
something is coming in the very next sentence.
However, when I was very young my eye and hand coordination came into
play when running in the family yard. I
was probably 5-8 years old and remember the event because it was pretty
dramatic since it involved my face ending up against our brick chimney. I was running very fast from another child in
a game in all likelihood. When all of sudden I turned around and my face
slammed into our rock solid brick chimney.
I remember running in the house and crying to my mother and she said
what happened to you. I told her and she said “watch where you are going.
“ I can guess that is what she said
because I heard that a lot from her growing up.
There also was an event which demonstrated to my grandfather
I might be different. The blonde, my
friend from college, found this one so funny we still laugh about it today. I
did not think it was that funny but they did.
I was trying to earn extra money in between tours in the marines and I
was mowing my grandparents grass. In
their front law they had a nice row of hedge bushes and notice how I said
had. I mowed the back lawn then finally
got around to the front and had to mow in between the hedge bushes and I
accidentally clipped some of one of hedge bushes so I tried to even it out.
But, by the time I was done I had gotten so frustrated I said what the hell and
trimmed it to the ground. My grandfather did notice this and said, “Donnie what
the hell you do to my bushes?” I tried
to explain and he just shaked his head in amazement or lack there of.
Over the years I twisted my ankles walking across the yard
and you think as my mother would say, “watch where you going.” But, no I have
not out grown this part of my life.
Thank god I have one resilient body and is like the energizer bunny and
never misses a beat. Whether, walking on
a marine base, Penn state campus or in Portland
Most recently, late last year I had just run six miles from
downtown Portland to the Portland VA
Times had changed but not really my body can take a beating
and keep on ticking but who I am has changed dramatically over the last
year. I have my dream life after so many
years of struggling but I could not have it all unless I had a great gene pool
and body that could with stand hormone replacement therapy at 52 years
old. Recently, I went to the Portland VA
I truly believe attitude and our ability to laugh at
ourselves plays a very important role in our health and well being and glad I
made this far and I am looking for what the future holds for me.
Now, this is the easy things to talk about and in the next
blog I am going to dive into the hot topics that really cuts at the heart of
what some like to call “transitioning” and much more and this includes the
taboo topic of masturbation.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
"donnie's" ultimate act of rebellion in a catholic family
I was born in california and my family moved to hollidaysburg Pa in 1961 when I was two years old. My mother was from the area so it was a logical decision for my family since the aircraft business was in the practice of hiring for work then laying off my family. We moved back to a very conservative small town and to let credence to my opinion here is an article from the local newspaper of how little the community has changed in many generations. Ask and you share receive but this is ridicilious........I could not have timed writing this post any better if I tried. If you read this article I want you to know I was a constituent of congressman Shuster area.
ischange-----.html?nav=756
I have no recollection of anything that was different about me when I was very young. I am sure the gears were already turning but I don't recall any specific memory. By 1964, a brother and sister were added to our family so there were the five of us now. We had joined the "picket white fence" image of America in 1964 when we moved to a rural part of Hollidaysburg , PA. The population might have tip the scale at 10k but I doubt it. The economy was reliant up the railroad which had the "world's largest railroad car repair facility." The railroad had three shift which ran 24/7.
I was somewhat defiant like most kids and we were a strict catholic family. My definition of "strict" in this sense was my aunt was sister in the catholic church and my family was about to enroll me in St. Mary's Catholic School. From a five year old's perspective, the last thing I wanted is to dress up in dress shirts, ties and dress slacks. The other kids made fun of the mandatory uniforms. But, I had a plan and my family was definitely not to be on board with me.
I remember telling my brother that I will take care of this but did not say it that loud because if my family ever found out the beatings would never stop and since corporal punishment was in the homes and schools I would be in deep trouble. Hell, back those days the sisters used rules on your hands and the principals paddle children on a regular basis and parents told the kids if you get spanked in school and we find out you get spanked at home too. Welcome to the 1960s-70's. More on this later in another post.
So, I remember someone came to pick all of us up to take us for "little innocent Donnie's " test to get into catholic school. I must have been laying the map out as we made our way to the school because I said to my mom, " the shy is green and the grass is blue." My mom said no, "Donnie, the grass is green and shy is blue." No way in hell was I going to Catholic school I was determined to put a end to this that day. I took the test and I know I followed through on the plan because I failed the test.
I figured what is the big deal I can go to public school like everyone else. Wrong, again!!!!! By the time we arrived home my mom was crying and I was wondering what the hell did I do ? My dad came home and wanted to go speak to the Bishop of the Catholic Church about getting me into the catholic school. Holy hell was breaking lose and I was ground central.
In later years, I could not convince my mother I was not color blind. I told my mother once that I passed the color blind test to get into the marines and she responded, " you are color blind." I gave up and rolled with it because no way I was going to try and convince her otherwise or any one else in the family. And, that is why myself and my brother and sister went to public school and not catholic school. My father commended later in life that was one of the smartest things I ever did so at least someone knew I did it on purpose.
ischange-----.html?nav=756
I have no recollection of anything that was different about me when I was very young. I am sure the gears were already turning but I don't recall any specific memory. By 1964, a brother and sister were added to our family so there were the five of us now. We had joined the "picket white fence" image of America in 1964 when we moved to a rural part of Hollidaysburg , PA. The population might have tip the scale at 10k but I doubt it. The economy was reliant up the railroad which had the "world's largest railroad car repair facility." The railroad had three shift which ran 24/7.
I was somewhat defiant like most kids and we were a strict catholic family. My definition of "strict" in this sense was my aunt was sister in the catholic church and my family was about to enroll me in St. Mary's Catholic School. From a five year old's perspective, the last thing I wanted is to dress up in dress shirts, ties and dress slacks. The other kids made fun of the mandatory uniforms. But, I had a plan and my family was definitely not to be on board with me.
I remember telling my brother that I will take care of this but did not say it that loud because if my family ever found out the beatings would never stop and since corporal punishment was in the homes and schools I would be in deep trouble. Hell, back those days the sisters used rules on your hands and the principals paddle children on a regular basis and parents told the kids if you get spanked in school and we find out you get spanked at home too. Welcome to the 1960s-70's. More on this later in another post.
So, I remember someone came to pick all of us up to take us for "little innocent Donnie's " test to get into catholic school. I must have been laying the map out as we made our way to the school because I said to my mom, " the shy is green and the grass is blue." My mom said no, "Donnie, the grass is green and shy is blue." No way in hell was I going to Catholic school I was determined to put a end to this that day. I took the test and I know I followed through on the plan because I failed the test.
I figured what is the big deal I can go to public school like everyone else. Wrong, again!!!!! By the time we arrived home my mom was crying and I was wondering what the hell did I do ? My dad came home and wanted to go speak to the Bishop of the Catholic Church about getting me into the catholic school. Holy hell was breaking lose and I was ground central.
In later years, I could not convince my mother I was not color blind. I told my mother once that I passed the color blind test to get into the marines and she responded, " you are color blind." I gave up and rolled with it because no way I was going to try and convince her otherwise or any one else in the family. And, that is why myself and my brother and sister went to public school and not catholic school. My father commended later in life that was one of the smartest things I ever did so at least someone knew I did it on purpose.
My goals to step forward and why change is important
I reached my one year anniversary of hormone therapy yesterday. I can say with all sincerity that hormone treatment has challenged me and tested me like nothing else in my life. I thought I had a good grasp of what I could expect on hormone treatment. I had not a clue how much it would test me and push me beyond what I thought I was capable of in the first year.
Thus, I feel compelled to open the book on myself and let others see what a transsexual life is really like. I don't mean how much did your breast grow and information which can be accessed in so many blogs and websites. I have two goals: (1) share my heart felt experience on hormones and (2) to open my heart to the world and let you really know who I am and reveal a lot of my personality which I don't think has been done before. I would ask you to ask yourselves do I know a transsexual and can I say what their interest are? I many can and I am one that does not know a transsexual that is willing to open their heart up and share themselves with few limits.
I laugh, cry and cry some more, love, like, get upset and disappointed, make mistakes then try to correct the errors, and enjoy life all every other woman. I , however sadly, god challenged me by replacing a vagina with a penis. I do have nice naturally curly hair and fantastic eye lashes which was passed onto my daughter. However, my daughter inherited my flat ass and to that I say, "you have long eye lashes." And her response is , "but, daddy my ass is flat." To all that I say 1 out of 2 not too bad.
My point realy is that no one really knows a transsexual because, in general, transsexual are too afraid to risk the exposure and once we "transition" we go back to total "stealth mode" where we started our life at. I have major issues with going stealth because now we are at the point that the transgendered community and the doctors collectively are no farther along in understand gender identity then when thi0 issue went public. This must change and I am going to risk going public with my private life and hope in time other transsexual will open up their hearts to the put and then the doctors can better help us.
I will start the next blog with my early years and how I was just an average child in a small time and raised a little hell from time to time but nothing really big. I was shy and soft spoken and just trying to fit in like an kid in the 1960's and 1970's. This was the era when corporal punishment was the "norm" in society in the schools and at home.
Thus, I feel compelled to open the book on myself and let others see what a transsexual life is really like. I don't mean how much did your breast grow and information which can be accessed in so many blogs and websites. I have two goals: (1) share my heart felt experience on hormones and (2) to open my heart to the world and let you really know who I am and reveal a lot of my personality which I don't think has been done before. I would ask you to ask yourselves do I know a transsexual and can I say what their interest are? I many can and I am one that does not know a transsexual that is willing to open their heart up and share themselves with few limits.
I laugh, cry and cry some more, love, like, get upset and disappointed, make mistakes then try to correct the errors, and enjoy life all every other woman. I , however sadly, god challenged me by replacing a vagina with a penis. I do have nice naturally curly hair and fantastic eye lashes which was passed onto my daughter. However, my daughter inherited my flat ass and to that I say, "you have long eye lashes." And her response is , "but, daddy my ass is flat." To all that I say 1 out of 2 not too bad.
My point realy is that no one really knows a transsexual because, in general, transsexual are too afraid to risk the exposure and once we "transition" we go back to total "stealth mode" where we started our life at. I have major issues with going stealth because now we are at the point that the transgendered community and the doctors collectively are no farther along in understand gender identity then when thi0 issue went public. This must change and I am going to risk going public with my private life and hope in time other transsexual will open up their hearts to the put and then the doctors can better help us.
I will start the next blog with my early years and how I was just an average child in a small time and raised a little hell from time to time but nothing really big. I was shy and soft spoken and just trying to fit in like an kid in the 1960's and 1970's. This was the era when corporal punishment was the "norm" in society in the schools and at home.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Deep conversations are needed by all
First I will start with a story about me and pull open the door into the transsexual community and then illustrate how " deep conversations" are needed for a better understanding by all.
I started hormones last August and started with 2 mg per day which was upped to 4 mg a day by October. This is when real changes in everything began to happen at a pace that no one has ever talked about that I am aware of. At the very core I had convinced myself that sexual reassignment was not necessary and it was not a issue if I never had sexual reassignment surgery. When you catch yourself saying, " it is not that bad." There is a problem and a big one and often abused women will say, "it is not that bad." When I made that connection that there was a real problem then I realized I was in big trouble.
Then, I had to acknowledge that what was between my legs did not match my head brain as my daughter would say. That was her language for the brain. The matter how much I make light of it ; it is a serious damn problem. But, at that point in time, I lost emotional control and started to cry uncontrollably and it was worse then I had ever experienced. I believe at that time my emotions had complete control of my body and mind. I was almost in "fight or flight" mode. I felt like everything was out of control. I had never felt like this in my life. Is this not important to have deep conversation about? coming on we are adults and the time is now for deep conversations for a better understand by all in society.
I, then said to myself, "what has god done to me ....?" I cried even harder and then harder and collapsed on my bed and again said it again. Then I had thoughts of auto castration (fancy word for thought of cutting my penis off) but as fast as that thought came into my head I said this to myself "what would that solve?" The answer was nothing and then I reached out to a counselor who helped me calm down and I felt this emptiness that there was nothing I could do about it but cutting my penis was not an option.
The question is why did I not cut my penis when this often happens within the transgendered community. The answered laid in two and half years of dialectal behavior therapy and the positive attitude of zig ziglar training which I had done for 20 years.
In one of my darkest hours, as ziglar would say, I grabbed the right straw because I had worked on problem solving for years and years. I also was able to stay in the moment innately using DBT skills I had learned years ago. I literally synthesized zig ziglar positive attitude and DBT skills in a spilt second when I needed them the most and it really worked. This is not a typical case from my understanding of the transgendered community but it was my experience. I do think what if .. I was in my 20's what would the results have been?
This is tough topic to discuss but one that needs talked about especially how I was able to overcome such an intense emotional issue in a split second. I am sure there are other ways but this worked for me and consider myself blessed for not going through cutting my penis. Am I one of lucky ones? we don't know because no one is really talking so how can anyone know in the transgendered community or let alone a doctor that is treating the community?
Another tough topic is the rise of sexual assaults from veterans coming home and the rise of sexual assaults in society as a whole. No one wants to talk about the issues but perhaps we should do like some do and if we say nothing there is not problem? I think not.
According to AP news in the army a sex crimes happens every six hours . Some might say well that does not affect me but this stat does ..there has been a 90 percent increase in sex crimes in the united states doing the period between 2006-2011. So this is not a veteran issue but a societal issue. These are disturbing trends which affect all of us and this is well beyond the GLBT community.
What is also of great concern is that people with PTSD, returning from a combat zone, are either non sexual or hyper sexual. What to do about it ? I not an expert in Psychology but I can tell you that trying to put it in the "closet" is not a good idea. I can tell you what happens from my experience when you put things in the "closet." They do not go away and get bigger and bigger until you cannot control the beast. Let's take action now, please.
What we need both inside and outside the transgendered and GLBT community is open conversation but when is the right time? I think we have waited long enough and I hope I have been able to shed some light on the transgendered community and the serious trends of sex crimes. In both cases, we will need ongoing deep meaningful conversation to start and the time is now.
Please feel free speak up about these important topic and if I know where to send you for further information I will provide the information. If I don't I will find out. Please lets all start the conversation.
I am also open to suggestion on how to best handle these deep issues that society is challenged by and would like to post suggestion on this blog too.
thank you
Rachel
I started hormones last August and started with 2 mg per day which was upped to 4 mg a day by October. This is when real changes in everything began to happen at a pace that no one has ever talked about that I am aware of. At the very core I had convinced myself that sexual reassignment was not necessary and it was not a issue if I never had sexual reassignment surgery. When you catch yourself saying, " it is not that bad." There is a problem and a big one and often abused women will say, "it is not that bad." When I made that connection that there was a real problem then I realized I was in big trouble.
Then, I had to acknowledge that what was between my legs did not match my head brain as my daughter would say. That was her language for the brain. The matter how much I make light of it ; it is a serious damn problem. But, at that point in time, I lost emotional control and started to cry uncontrollably and it was worse then I had ever experienced. I believe at that time my emotions had complete control of my body and mind. I was almost in "fight or flight" mode. I felt like everything was out of control. I had never felt like this in my life. Is this not important to have deep conversation about? coming on we are adults and the time is now for deep conversations for a better understand by all in society.
I, then said to myself, "what has god done to me ....?" I cried even harder and then harder and collapsed on my bed and again said it again. Then I had thoughts of auto castration (fancy word for thought of cutting my penis off) but as fast as that thought came into my head I said this to myself "what would that solve?" The answer was nothing and then I reached out to a counselor who helped me calm down and I felt this emptiness that there was nothing I could do about it but cutting my penis was not an option.
The question is why did I not cut my penis when this often happens within the transgendered community. The answered laid in two and half years of dialectal behavior therapy and the positive attitude of zig ziglar training which I had done for 20 years.
In one of my darkest hours, as ziglar would say, I grabbed the right straw because I had worked on problem solving for years and years. I also was able to stay in the moment innately using DBT skills I had learned years ago. I literally synthesized zig ziglar positive attitude and DBT skills in a spilt second when I needed them the most and it really worked. This is not a typical case from my understanding of the transgendered community but it was my experience. I do think what if .. I was in my 20's what would the results have been?
This is tough topic to discuss but one that needs talked about especially how I was able to overcome such an intense emotional issue in a split second. I am sure there are other ways but this worked for me and consider myself blessed for not going through cutting my penis. Am I one of lucky ones? we don't know because no one is really talking so how can anyone know in the transgendered community or let alone a doctor that is treating the community?
Another tough topic is the rise of sexual assaults from veterans coming home and the rise of sexual assaults in society as a whole. No one wants to talk about the issues but perhaps we should do like some do and if we say nothing there is not problem? I think not.
According to AP news in the army a sex crimes happens every six hours . Some might say well that does not affect me but this stat does ..there has been a 90 percent increase in sex crimes in the united states doing the period between 2006-2011. So this is not a veteran issue but a societal issue. These are disturbing trends which affect all of us and this is well beyond the GLBT community.
What is also of great concern is that people with PTSD, returning from a combat zone, are either non sexual or hyper sexual. What to do about it ? I not an expert in Psychology but I can tell you that trying to put it in the "closet" is not a good idea. I can tell you what happens from my experience when you put things in the "closet." They do not go away and get bigger and bigger until you cannot control the beast. Let's take action now, please.
What we need both inside and outside the transgendered and GLBT community is open conversation but when is the right time? I think we have waited long enough and I hope I have been able to shed some light on the transgendered community and the serious trends of sex crimes. In both cases, we will need ongoing deep meaningful conversation to start and the time is now.
Please feel free speak up about these important topic and if I know where to send you for further information I will provide the information. If I don't I will find out. Please lets all start the conversation.
I am also open to suggestion on how to best handle these deep issues that society is challenged by and would like to post suggestion on this blog too.
thank you
Rachel
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Joan De' Arc and other role models
Joan De Arc ( Joan of arc) (role model for the ages)
Martyr; One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle
Peasant
Mission First (Save France)
Move Forward Now
Difficult; In the way; clear the way; therefore perceived Arrogant
Unbreakable Spirit
Easy Target
Risked everything to archive Goals
Quotes from other role Models:
"Rarely, do well-behaved women make history"
" I'm just doing my part."
"we take care of our own."
To understand me is to understand my "unshakable drive" to succeed where others fail. I have perfected this unshakable drive over the past half a century. This drive is ever more present in the core values of the Marine Corps to never, never quit. It is acceptable to fail, fail and fail again but you can never quit. My beliefs are also tied in with the Zig Ziglar school of thought that every no is one step closer to a yes. So, I believe that goals are the end result of past failures that you overcame.
This drive has enabled me to succeed in my life in many facets which included my gender, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Marine Corps boot camp or graduating from Penn State University. I am not the smartest in the class but I never , never quit and work at it until I find a way to succeed.
In 1997, rheumatoid arthritis crippled my body to the point I could barely walk and my young daughter had help me open jars,etc. Overtime, I battled back and was able to walk then last year when I was put on estrogen the flood gates opened up and I began to exercise. Today, I can run 6 miles in 62 minutes which rivals my best time when I was in the marines at 19 years old. It took thirty years to accomplish that feat but I never quit.
For nearly 50 years I failed at my gender but I seized every opportunity when it presented itself and kicked the door down. Each failure over 50 years was edging me one step closer to my goal and finally at the age of 52, "voila", Rachel. I simply never quit; there is always a way to achieve your goals you just have to be persistent and never give up.
What does Joan De'Arc have to do with me? She started it all for me. In ninth grade, I was taking a French Class and mademoiselle McCormick was teaching a section on french culture. I did not realize until recently just how big an impact the classes on Joan De'Arc had on me. She had become my role model and myself coming from a "strict" catholic family I could never have a female role model so subconsciously I keep this to myself all these years. Thus, I saw a drive in a woman that no one could destroy and I needed this very drive to become who I am today. She truly is a role model for the ages. As "don" I was a merely a follower but as "rachel" I am fearless, driven and may be perceived as arrogant.
Now, I am but a messenger, and will become a visible face to the public in my struggle to get my story out. But, the women that have come before me have made this possible and I want to acknowledge their sacrifices . I have realized in the last year that without women before me there would not be a Rachel. Because of women before me I have been empowered and have a voice and this made a critical difference in life. This is also the main reason I feel compelled to give back to society because so much has been given to me.
I also would like to thank the women who have worked with me and continue to work with me and have placed their trust in me to achieve our goals. I, like all others, want to be part of something big and to accomplish the big goals it takes a group of people. I will give more details about this in later blogs.
I understand it is now time for me to do my part. My part is telling my story which is about me but my journey was started not because my story is about "rachel," nor the transgendered community but about all veterans so other wise everyone in society. Because veterans are a cross section of society.
Now I will discuss sexuality and how my sexuality is related to society's issues of sexuality.
thank you
Rachel
Martyr; One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle
Peasant
Mission First (Save France)
Move Forward Now
Difficult; In the way; clear the way; therefore perceived Arrogant
Unbreakable Spirit
Easy Target
Risked everything to archive Goals
Quotes from other role Models:
"Rarely, do well-behaved women make history"
" I'm just doing my part."
"we take care of our own."
To understand me is to understand my "unshakable drive" to succeed where others fail. I have perfected this unshakable drive over the past half a century. This drive is ever more present in the core values of the Marine Corps to never, never quit. It is acceptable to fail, fail and fail again but you can never quit. My beliefs are also tied in with the Zig Ziglar school of thought that every no is one step closer to a yes. So, I believe that goals are the end result of past failures that you overcame.
This drive has enabled me to succeed in my life in many facets which included my gender, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Marine Corps boot camp or graduating from Penn State University. I am not the smartest in the class but I never , never quit and work at it until I find a way to succeed.
In 1997, rheumatoid arthritis crippled my body to the point I could barely walk and my young daughter had help me open jars,etc. Overtime, I battled back and was able to walk then last year when I was put on estrogen the flood gates opened up and I began to exercise. Today, I can run 6 miles in 62 minutes which rivals my best time when I was in the marines at 19 years old. It took thirty years to accomplish that feat but I never quit.
For nearly 50 years I failed at my gender but I seized every opportunity when it presented itself and kicked the door down. Each failure over 50 years was edging me one step closer to my goal and finally at the age of 52, "voila", Rachel. I simply never quit; there is always a way to achieve your goals you just have to be persistent and never give up.
What does Joan De'Arc have to do with me? She started it all for me. In ninth grade, I was taking a French Class and mademoiselle McCormick was teaching a section on french culture. I did not realize until recently just how big an impact the classes on Joan De'Arc had on me. She had become my role model and myself coming from a "strict" catholic family I could never have a female role model so subconsciously I keep this to myself all these years. Thus, I saw a drive in a woman that no one could destroy and I needed this very drive to become who I am today. She truly is a role model for the ages. As "don" I was a merely a follower but as "rachel" I am fearless, driven and may be perceived as arrogant.
Now, I am but a messenger, and will become a visible face to the public in my struggle to get my story out. But, the women that have come before me have made this possible and I want to acknowledge their sacrifices . I have realized in the last year that without women before me there would not be a Rachel. Because of women before me I have been empowered and have a voice and this made a critical difference in life. This is also the main reason I feel compelled to give back to society because so much has been given to me.
I also would like to thank the women who have worked with me and continue to work with me and have placed their trust in me to achieve our goals. I, like all others, want to be part of something big and to accomplish the big goals it takes a group of people. I will give more details about this in later blogs.
I understand it is now time for me to do my part. My part is telling my story which is about me but my journey was started not because my story is about "rachel," nor the transgendered community but about all veterans so other wise everyone in society. Because veterans are a cross section of society.
Now I will discuss sexuality and how my sexuality is related to society's issues of sexuality.
thank you
Rachel
Transsexual wall of secrecy
I have finally acknowledged the fact that it is
my vision and mission to open up the world of secrecy of the
transgendered/transsexual Community. Until now, I did not realize I had
the strength, character and heart to be so bold and brave. How did I get to this point and decide that the benefits out weigh the risks? I will try to explain that in the upcoming blogs and welcome questions to my blogs. I will do my best to answer all questions honestly and thoroughly.
I have also learned that the doctors do not know how to treat me because, as a whole, the transsexual community has decided what the doctors need to know. So, let me get this straight, the doctors and therapists don't know how to treat the transsexual community and additionally the transsexual community will not talk to each other. So, how would any doctor know how to treat any patient????? If I was a cancer patient I would be dead. This line of thinking has to change and the time is now.
In my blog this weekend I will open up the world of secrecy of the Transsexual Community to share with others the challenges are immense. How a woman like me can overcome insurmountable odds and thrive where others fail. It is my strong held belief that I intuitively knew when to step out and become the woman I always was and now I know it is time to speak up and share my story. I will never educate the public but only share my story, experiences and build a bridge between the transsexual community, the public and the doctors that prescribe the hormones.
Also, the portrayal of transsexuals as serial killers in shows like criminal minds has reinforced this image which has resulted in stereotyping of the entire transsexual community. So, since no one is talking, and no one wants to step forward to lead, the public has only the media to rely on to form an opinion of an entire subculture. My goal is to change this image of the transsexual community. The starting point will be me and now.
However, no transsexual wants to talk about the tough heart wrenching topics which challenge a transsexual. I will tackle this head on in my blog. I will start with who I am and quickly progress to sexual orientation, masturbation, and how this is all connected to other veterans returning from combat zones. This issue goes well beyond veterans since veterans represent a "cross section" of society.
I am in a surreal situation where I never saw myself in a leadership role. I was the follower who became a defacto leader because no one else seems willing to step forward and lead. But as my mother would say, "enough is enough... now go to your room. lol... I think you get my point enough is enough and I will open up "pandora's Box."
The next blog will detail who is Rachel Reid?
thank you,
Rachel
I have also learned that the doctors do not know how to treat me because, as a whole, the transsexual community has decided what the doctors need to know. So, let me get this straight, the doctors and therapists don't know how to treat the transsexual community and additionally the transsexual community will not talk to each other. So, how would any doctor know how to treat any patient????? If I was a cancer patient I would be dead. This line of thinking has to change and the time is now.
In my blog this weekend I will open up the world of secrecy of the Transsexual Community to share with others the challenges are immense. How a woman like me can overcome insurmountable odds and thrive where others fail. It is my strong held belief that I intuitively knew when to step out and become the woman I always was and now I know it is time to speak up and share my story. I will never educate the public but only share my story, experiences and build a bridge between the transsexual community, the public and the doctors that prescribe the hormones.
Also, the portrayal of transsexuals as serial killers in shows like criminal minds has reinforced this image which has resulted in stereotyping of the entire transsexual community. So, since no one is talking, and no one wants to step forward to lead, the public has only the media to rely on to form an opinion of an entire subculture. My goal is to change this image of the transsexual community. The starting point will be me and now.
However, no transsexual wants to talk about the tough heart wrenching topics which challenge a transsexual. I will tackle this head on in my blog. I will start with who I am and quickly progress to sexual orientation, masturbation, and how this is all connected to other veterans returning from combat zones. This issue goes well beyond veterans since veterans represent a "cross section" of society.
I am in a surreal situation where I never saw myself in a leadership role. I was the follower who became a defacto leader because no one else seems willing to step forward and lead. But as my mother would say, "enough is enough... now go to your room. lol... I think you get my point enough is enough and I will open up "pandora's Box."
The next blog will detail who is Rachel Reid?
thank you,
Rachel
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