Sunday, December 20, 2015

Nih article on Yoga, Cortisol and my own experiences with hormones, there are no experts !!!!!!!!!

unknown variables .. yoga and music of which i practice both.... interesting in the study they are searching for how yoga affects posterior hypothalamus, interleukin-6, C-reactive protein and cortisol....interestingly enough i am tested regularly for C reactive protein, not sure why i have to research, but not Cortisol levels. There is a connection and i am not sure how but the time of day , when your Cortisol is highest in the mornings to wake is up , does matter. so if i do yoga or exercise in the morning .. it does matter.... it does matter if i do exer / yoga then eat breakfast .....

it also matters if i eat between meals... i can feel the full impact of estrogen if i force myself to wait at least 2 hrs between meal, it matters how i eat, how fast,what i eat and how often i eat.....

so yoga, music, exercise , diet do matter and how , what and when you do them matters too. this is my experience ...... all of this may be linked to what scientist and researchers call the unknown factor of hormones ... mitochondria...which has been shown to be changed with depression... opps it actually is called the missing link.... the physical and mental part perhaps?????

my best guesses and exp so far.. this research article from 2015 ..... and researchers have no idea how yoga works .... i wish i could find the whole article wo paying for it

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25559560

Health Psychol Rev. 2015 Apr 15:1-18. [Epub ahead of print]

How does yoga reduce stress? A systematic review of mechanisms of change and guide to future inquiry.

Riley KE¹, Park CL.

Author information

¹a Department of Psychology , University of Connecticut , Storrs , CT , USA.

Abstract

Yoga is increasingly used in clinical settings for a variety of mental and physical health issues, particularly stress-related illnesses and concerns, and has demonstrated promising efficacy. Yet the ways in which yoga reduces stress remain poorly understood. To examine the empirical evidence regarding the mechanisms through which yoga reduces stress, we conducted a systematic review of the literature, including any yoga intervention that measured stress as a primary dependent variable and tested a mechanism of the relationship with mediation. Our electronic database search yielded 926 abstracts, of which 71 were chosen for further inspection and 5 were selected for the final systematic review. These five studies examined three psychological mechanisms (positive affect, mindfulness and self-compassion) and four biological mechanisms (posterior hypothalamus, interleukin-6, C-reactive protein and cortisol). Positive affect, self-compassion, inhibition of the posterior hypothalamus and salivary cortisol were all shown to mediate the relationship between yoga and stress. It is striking that the literature describing potential mechanisms is growing rapidly, yet only seven mechanisms have been empirically examined; more research is necessary. Also, future research ought to include more rigorous methodology, including sufficient power, study randomisation and appropriate control groups.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

cost of various plastic surgeries in thailand.... cost of being pretty in thailand

Monday, October 26, 2015

great video on what is intersex by intersex ...... so sad too

http://www.buzzfeed.com/lizzwarner/what-its-like-to-be-intersex#.ri4Ewgnwz

to have doctors based on their personal bias conduct surgeries is horrible !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 8, 2015

newest update on marine that killed a trans girl in philppines ......total bs ... he murdered her

i love to met this ass face to face , mr tough guy, he is sticking with the defense that " thought he would be raped" and went into a rage. sadly this is a legal defense in this country for a lesser charge in all states but Cali. he is also getting special treatment because the marines are guarding him in a local jail. probably because the locals in jail would beat him to death. i know the culture and too many marines think they can get away with so much and sadly i have seen things, nothing like this , where the marines paid no price.

what should happen is what happened in Mombasa where a sailor killed a prostitute... he was hanged after our ship pulled out of port. this is not in any history book....... because of my job i did not live in a bubble in the marines..... i was very well versed on what was going on in the world of the military and the world.

just makes me sick to my stomach he may get off killing a girl that was exactly what he expected.... we knew and if we did not the local girls told us because they did not want the " benny boys" taking their cut of the cash. this is all bs and story spilled to get him off

http://www.advocate.com/transgender/2015/08/24/.VhZ-kGrNbDM.facebook

Saturday, September 19, 2015

feminine mannerism in the marines, hormone testing, gender and sexual orientation questions to enlist in marines

being who i am I would have rather had it done at birth... but how do you know? i have only ever talked to 2 intersex on line..... and one in person..... nothing really developed that I could share because the conversations were very shallow at best so much so i cannot recall the contents of the conversations...

i was feminine enough in the marines a marine who detest me and my mannerisms said the marines should give me a hormone test! dear god i was in fear that they marines would actual do that so i looked at my medical records for the blood test and i would ask the doctors what each blood test was for? this happened on my first tour and i sought less medical help for there on out. if they found out who i was i was dead bc i would have to go back to the hell of a home and Rachel would never be. this was a serious fear bc i knew i lied on the contract to enlist when i said male and i was not a homosexual ... questions on the actual contract...... reread when i had my medical and military records pulled for filing for disablity..... this goes back as i cry so far and deep ...... i saw this way... you see me as a male and i like females so in your eyes i am not lying...... your lies not mine is how i viewed all of this ..... god this was a nightmare for me

http://www.buzzfeed.com/azeenghorayshi/intersex-surgeries-human-rights-violation?bffblgbt&utm_term=4ldqphm#4ldqphm

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

my opinion of the trans comm and the lack of leadership and Caityln Jenner

outside the trans comm activist arena , even in Portland oregon, employers despite a college education discriminate and poverty is very much the core issue...... seems we are driven, like the rest of the glbt comm, to certain jobs. comes down to it do you want a Lesbian or trans woman as the face of your company...... the image of the trans in america is the core issue and Caityln has not helped in this arena..... i think finding human resources director who will work with an organization would be a huge help..... not to mention funding surgery... i am sure 1 percent of their annual budget would not make them less effective... the core issue there is that the trans comm and the rest of the organizations are driving for all to have access... that is great but in the mean time the overall suffering continues..... we have been sold out by the leadership or the lack of leadership in the comm.....

The reality is even the top surgeons who do srs who are transsexuals have sold us out. i have heard horror stories from the two transsexuals who do the srs in the states. i mean Dr. Bowers who was taught by the pioneer of srs in the states charges 25,000.00 and for a srs with skin graft you are up to 27,500. so otherwise you have be rich or an insurance company has to pay for it. i mean that is a lot of money and that does not include hotels, meals and loss of income which could last 2-6 mos or longer. the total cost of surgery is really unknown given so much.

it would be far more cost effective to do what the Australia does and bring in Thailand doctors who are very experienced to train US doctors to do the surgery. There is no way i would allow a doctor who is inexperienced do my surgery. i have heard nightmares from EU where state funded surgery has ended in such things as patients with bags to urinate in bc of surgeries gone bad.

I hope to one day , like next yr, do a skype feed of my surgery and after that set up an organization to fund other people that need the surgery. this situation should have never existed but it does.. how damn sad

Monday, September 7, 2015

voice surgery ifo ... do not recommend it!!! but there is the info and why voice coach is preferred

i have researched this extensively and the very best is in Korea since they implant a device that shortens your vocal chords without cutting the chords. however the people that do this surgery have only done 150 surgeries in the last 10 yrs. the track record is not there for me !!

i would recommend a good voice coach who is sensitive to changing your voice upwards!! because after the surgery , voice, one would have to do this anyhow to learn how to speak again due to the surgery or device implant. the key is not to follow the info on the net or utube because what every voice coach has told me is you have to be very careful you do not damage your vocal folds by elevating your voice in pitch.

you need to find an anchor and gradually go up in range. i played trombone for 6 yrs and when you play the trombone in the higher octaves, without practicing etc, your lips get very fat and you cannot play the trombone for several days. unlike the trombone the voice has vocal fold that can be damaged and there is the possibility you can permanently damage your vocal folds and you can end up with a deeper voice. be smart and find a good voice coach and do not push it ... let your voice gradually work at the higher range.....

here is the info from the net ...... sharing but i do not recommend....... what if you cannot speak or the voice is deeper ; there is no data to support the surgery ..... but at the end of the day it is is everyone's choice just like srs

There are several types of voice feminization techniques, Crico-Thyroid Approximation (CTA), Laser Assisted Voice Adjustment (LAVA), Vocal Cord Shortening (Anterior Web Creation), Thyroid Cartilage and Vocal Cord Reduction and Laryngoplasty. All procedures are designed to make a genetic Male’s voice box smaller and vocal cords shorter in an attempt to raise the comfortable speaking pitch.
The characteristic pitch or fundamental frequency (F0) of the male voice ranges from about 100 to 150 Hz; for the female voice, F0 ranges from 170 to 220 Hz. By reducing the voice box, these procedures can increase the pitch of the voice. Another distinctive characteristic of the voice is resonance. The timbre or resonance of the male voice is deeper than females, this is due to the greater length of the male upper airway. Currently there is no procedure to help modify the resonant character of the voice, however altering the fundamental frequency is the more important factor.

http://professionalvoice.org/feminization.aspx

The average female speaking fundamental frequency is right around middle "C" on a piano (the normal range is within the pink arrows). The average male SFF is in a range about an octave lower than female, within the blue arrows in the picture. An octave is 12 notes on the piano (including the black keys!).

Three types of voice surgery ….

http://www.fauquierent.net/voicesurgery.htm

Monday, August 24, 2015

my pumps, air flow, hormones and thoughts of suicide ...... it is a constant battle

so for the first time since 2012 i started to wear my pumps in the house , Spanish heels, and something happened i never realized so long ago . because of my flat feet or whatever the pumps make me stand up straight , my back esp, and the result is i have more air flow, like yoga, which means i can feel the cool air going through my nasal cavity. this in turn pumps up the volume on the progesterone , estrone? and this could explain the feeling of feeling high on hormones ....

the problem is i am aware all the time this thing is between my legs ...... i am in so much pain whereas before i was just had a high feeling. i know the why now and it is scary to know this is the pain i felt 40 plus yrs ago.

so yrs ago the combo of my father teaching me to sit up straight , breathing techniques of a boxer , the natural food maxed out the estrogen in my body , if not what was it then? i feel the same as i was in my teens and even in the marines. ( my gunny told me that the chow hall food was bad for me and when i went to the field on exercises... my eyes were cleared up in days.( had major dry eye caused by unbalanced hormoens(... but Rachel came out and my mannerisms were but feminine and how i moved my hips and other marines saw this ... not good ......

but the pumps validate me as being sexy so there is many things they do but the air flow is critical ...... when depressed one breaths diff and through the chest ...... panic attacks and stress do this.... what might have put this all in play is instead of playing the violin i had to play a wind instrument , the trombone, this probably was huge in a time when i needed what god ordered for me

so today , the pumps, the singing, the make up and dress , people around me and all the other things i have shared enabled me to go back and pick up the pieces and learn why. i have not felt this much pain in yrs and joy ..... i am in deep trouble and i have no idea what to do ... i am terrified of surgery esp watching a tv show last night when a woman had a tummy tuck and there is a side affect of all plastic surgery ..... flesh eating bacteria/virus...... wow that hit home too...... the end result because of the lack of access to follow up care was two huge holes in her stomach... so much can go wrong .... i do not want the surgery but i need it medically...... the risk is so high but i have no choice to but to walk through the door......

to say that i cannot be the girl on special victims unit .... trans girl cut her wrist ....... that could be me ..... make no doubt it is suicide .... it has to be on the table so i can min the chances of it .. but the longer i am on hormones wo surgery the close i am to suicide ..... the pain is so deep and like i told ..... i am one of the few that will tell you i am going through thoughts of suicide.....

the lies bury too many and i think that is why i am so outspoken too... nearly did me in too many times

i have fought this same battle as a teen but now i have to figure out how to get the surgery.... the pain is real and deep in my own apt now.... god help me

interview with state agency and thoughts of sucide followed

i am in tears.... went through suicide thoughts ..... then i saw a young girl at the unemployment , where i was interviewed for internship, and thought i never will be able to be and experience what she is at 20's ... then this the interview

the female interviewer ask me if i was transgender at xerox, did they know about you in the marines? you know we have trans people that come in here and some people move away from them and so do not......i told her i heard and your name is rachel"? so i can handle it and she said " they heard the male voice.

to side me and my qualifications she used the fact that i cannot stand for 4 straight hours vs accommodating mr

it was the worse interview and over 80 percent was about my gender... then the rest was covering up .... she ended the interview and when i was in the waiting room came back to me then gave me a tour ..... etc

what it is really like on the front lines ...... file a complaint? hell i would be filing complaints all day long...... you cannot compel people to be compassionate and caring..... this was a horrible day

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

my prospective on Caityln Jenner and the LGBT comm.... not poltically correct

there are two issues here one the clickish LGBT comm and Caityln. first as a trans woman , hate the label but it is how people can id me, i was outed by the trans comm long ago so i know how clickish they can be and if you are not in you are on the outside just like everyone else. but Caityln is actress and what we are seeing in the media are high profile , limited in scope and prospective, people that give their points of view. what we do not know is what is staged and what is real.... we have hollywood vs the real world. in the real world which i know something about since i have worked in the corp world as Rachel is a totally diff than acting or what we hear on the talk shows. just like other women , there are actresses, and there are the girls in the day to day life and similarities which there are some but in the bigger picture ..... we live a life where there are no retakes of a scene..... real life is one take and it is done.

could we get more coverage of Caityln .. are you serous .. never ending saga ...... enough

Like · Reply · 1 · Yesterday at 10:03am

Lex Moran-Solero Do you complain about all celebrities getting over-exposed or just Caitlyn? It's not enough until trans people get enough awareness and support and we're not even close to that yet.

Like · 2 · 21 hrs
Rachel Reid this celebrity has but done one interview , one photo shoot , and an award for ?: she has been given privilege simply because she trans woman... when you give privilege for any given subculture you have then discriminate against others..... the public...See More

Like · 21 hrs
Lex Moran-Solero Have you watched her show? Seen her interview? She's working to inform herself because it's all new to her and she's already reaching out to youth groups and using her celebrity to bring awareness. She can't help being rich and famous. She can't help that her struggle isn't the same as what other trans people endure - and she even said that on her show. Why don't we give her a minute to get acclimated, give her some positive feedback and maybe some suggestions so she can use her so-called privilege to help make the world a better place before we start bashing her.

Like · 4 hrs
Rachel Reid Hollywood gives a distorted picture of life and represents big biz and politics ....... she was given an award that was suppose to elevate her career for what? she did one interview , one photo shoot......in all honesty you nor i and anyone else cannot know what is staged for tv and what is real? this is a reality show .... in the real world you get one take ...... then you add in the millions that is being made in this production and people are likely not to believe the story ... just like our politicians ...... this is a glorified soap opera and have you seen the preview for the next show.... here comes kim to I am cait..... like so many i have had enough of the realty shows which are not real compared to the real world but apply to only hollywood, rating and cash

Like · 54 mins

Rachel Reid on the term bashing that is what people from the left say when you disagree with them since they cannot can me a transphobic since i am trans woman but if i was a straight woman that is what you could call me.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Us marines flag vs gay men holding up the same flag; wow

https://www.facebook.com/newnownext/posts/913484718710659?comment_id=913540378705093&notif_t=like
my response about the american flag and the us marines vs the gay men with the same flag is disprestful but i never imagined it would do all of this ... wow

Sunday, June 14, 2015

best sexual reassignment video and animation of the surgery

the comments are interesting .... some are rude and crude too..... but this is the best i have seen on the net

http://www.medicalvideos.org/play.php?vid=5087&fb_comment_id=fbc_1448505382052084_1634763630092924_1634763630092924#f3dd26cbfe4c70e

Sunday, June 7, 2015

horrible story from Australia and a dream last night ....

also had a nightmare last night that i was stabbed because of me being me .... actually i dream happened back east.... my dreams are so vivid... took , due to my voice, 19 min to convince the 911 operator to send an ambulance...and the girls with me checked and i was indeed stabbed... then i woke up ... this is all too real to me.....

the clarity and detail of the dreams were never like this before in my life....

the power of estrogen and recovering memories.... the lengthening and added width to the dendrites, the increase in gray matter in the brain ... there is a connection but i am not 100 percent positive of how it works.......but the dreams and memories from the past are so clear

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/transgender-woman-allegedly-bashed-at-newtowns-town-hall-hotel-20150607-ghihb0.html

Thursday, June 4, 2015

the liberal agenda and Caitlyn vs another celebrity .... this is so wrong

this also has to do with Caitlyn being a conservative and Christian like myself..... Laverne Cox is the the not average experience of the avg trans person ... I can speak of this since I was in a VA homeless program for 2 yrs... i had to fight my way out and i never lost sight of who I was and am.... a conservative Christian just like the women that raised me and my gram who supported me from the age of 7 y o as girl. i hid from so many..... a celebrity is a celebrity...... people are people and the belittling of one Caityln and the embracing of another Ms Cox is wrong.... each has their own person struggles and my disconnect with both is neither talks about the thoughts of suicide.... which is rampant in the comm... who dare lead and tell the truth? the comm needs leadership that will bring the comm together not divide it .... the liberal leaning people with money and the voice of the comm have turned on Caityln .... this is wrong .......

https://gendermom.wordpress.com/2015/06/01/my-daughter-caitlyn-jenner-and-laverne-cox/

Saturday, May 23, 2015

video by people that identify as trans and responses to questions

personally if you have questions about anything I love the chance to change misconceptions and just love to share my story but i am not an expert..... the sales woman is alive and well over here and i love to close a sale ..... so please ask me anything you like...... let's break some egg shells......

just thought i would share what trans people think from another part of the world and maybe what some think in general...

i do say that asking me if i show you some pictures before is too painful for me. that would be a painful question but knowing me in the moment i might show you my marine pic ........ one girl responded , and this hurt as i cry so bad, you were handsome and another girl said i would have .... basically sex with that 17 y o marine. that was too crude for me and that was not fun.

i am more than willing to talk but i expect respect ...... not too hard you would think but sometimes people's perception of what you should be clouds their judgements and their harsh remarks.....

here it the link

http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/trans-people-respond-to-the-most-annoying-questions-they-get

Monday, May 11, 2015

trans Girl arrested for exposing her breast ; the prison response and my prospective and the voice of reason

update: this incident happened in jul 2013 per GA website and she was charged with indecent exposure and
disorderly conduct....on 4-7-13 at 1 am

this is my problem! as some people think i am like her. i did pick out of the article some irony to me because in the marines i was called " thing, in boot camp , and it was could be an endearing thing in the marines to be called " my n--- or what is up my brother " and i am sure this was not the case while she was in jail . also i am sure in this case it is totally possible her race could have played a role in her total experience too. What is not mentioned is what the race of the men using the slurs. however that being said the warden used the term " them" to refer to her as transgendered woman.

but basically i would never be in this position because i do not expose my breast in public nor would any of my friends who I have in my life. so in my opinion there are multiple issues going on here. ( wow that sounds like a therapist ) but sincerely she put herself in a position to bring across a social issue and at the last minute the issue of transgender was the key issue out of all of this ? then the warden treated her like a man.....she was the one that exposed her breast in public and the situation was compounded by the warden and society's definition of what is and is not a woman.

there are issues on both sides of the fence. i doubt a ........ , bruce or any other woman of with any type of class would be themselves in this position. but this is news worthy!

But the stories are minimized like Bruce's by the trans and gay community. the community does it without saying it but is that OK? no it is not ok!!! so much of our lives are about politics when so many of us just want to live our lives and the loud minority are heard loud and clear in the news. this makes our lives so much more difficult because when someone finds out we were born with penises they make the connection to RuPaul or this girl... and we are none of them...this is a challenge that i have found difficult to overcome but my sales background has been a huge asset in this area of my life.

thank you

Rachel

WATCH: Transgender Woman Arrested for Exposing Breasts, Jailed With Men

Ashley Del Valle is a transgender woman from New York who was arrested in Georgia for indecent exposure after she allegedly showed her breasts, but then was housed in an all-male jail.

BY Sunnivie Brydum

April 17 2013 5:52 PM ET

A transgender woman from New York was arrested in Savannah, Ga., last week for allegedly exposing her breasts, reports Savannah's WSAV. But when deputies booked Ashley Del Valle, 38, she says a nurse examined her genitals, and determined that she was "technically a male." As a result, Del Valle was placed in a holding cell in the men's prison ward.
Del Valle was alone in various cells in the men's ward for three days before her family posted her $3,500 bail. She told WSAV that she often felt unsafe, and claims that deputies repeatedly referred to her as "thing," "brotha," and "nigga."
"I just felt like I wasn't being treated like a human being," said Del Valle, who was assigned male at birth, but has lived as a woman for more than 20 years, and legally changed her name in 2002.
The chief deputy at the jail says his employees followed existing protocol to keep Del Valle in a private cell, but did admit to misgendering her.
"First off, Ashley is still a man," chief deputy Roy Harris told GA Voice. "I think he's had some surgery, breast implants. But technically he is still a male which poses a problem. We do have a policy in place. Typically we put them in isolation."
Zack Ford at ThinkProgress LGBT notes that while housing transgender people in isolation is generally standard prison protocol, such isolation can be punishment in and of itself.
"Though Del Valle was kept in a private cell, the fact that she was still surrounded by men still made her vulnerable to harassment," writes Ford. "An isolation cell can also be a different form of torture, depriving an individual of any social contact. Whatever transgender policy the jail supposedly has, misgendering her and endangering her in such ways did not prioritize her safety nor convey even the most basic respect for her identity."
Del Valle is considering legal action, which might have some weight, especially given that Del Valle was arrested for a charge that can only be committed by a woman — since a man exposing his nipples does not qualify as indecent exposure — but then jailed as a man. Del Valle also contests the claim that she exposed herself at all; she told WSAV says she was just wearing a sheer top, and says she did not argue with the arresting officer, despite also being charged with disorderly conduct.
Watch the report from WSAV below, complete with problematic language including the segment's title, "Incarcerating the Transgendered", and language from the reporter, who calls Del Valle "a transgender."

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Kim on Bruce Jenner coming out and comments that are good and hurtful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYIAVQnWvnM&index=174&list=PL6x4FKqQ2ZB1Ln9mQHCb1XsDXXkVqDuPf

the understanding by some but the ignorance by so many is so hurtful!! yet one person can understand being gay yet " getting your penis cut off is mental illness." not so long ago people stated that homosexuality was a mental illness. at least from Bruce and others like me putting our stories out there we know what you really think of us, some sad but so many see us as human beings and thank you

rachel

Friday, May 1, 2015

marine corps times comments on murdered trans girl by a US marine

as a marine ... the only rachel would be a dead rachel even in 2015....... scary but not shocked to me!!!
the reference to the trans girl as " it and homo" .. nothing has changed.....

Isaac Cruz

In 1985, a Marine was charged with DWI and murder in Hiroshima Japan. Just as in Olongapo, charges were filed and the Marine was found guilty of his charges. He wasn't released to the

Like · Reply · Dec 17, 2014 6:12am

Isaac Cruz

Japanese authorities until after his court martial.

Like · Reply · Dec 17, 2014 6:13am

Michael Osborn ·

Bishop Watterson High School

STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS!

Like · Reply · Dec 17, 2014 1:19am

Zachary Theis ·

Infantry 0331, recruiter 8411. at USMC

If marines would listen to there libo briefs. Human trafficking is not legal or right. (It didn't say that they paid for company but come on you know they did). Leaving you libo buddy is never okay. Drinking large amounts at the age of 19 isn't okay either. What he did was the result of a bunch of bad choices that he must now face the consequences.

Like · Reply · Dec 16, 2014 2:07am

Sardo Matt

Would you be like "oh you have a penis too, look at it its so cute and tiny!" Its cool no problem let me just kiss goodbye the $ and time I was putting in to gettin laid cuz ya kno its so easy to get laid in the middle of the damn ocean! Ok fine maybe it didnt deserve to die for its treachery but if he was a boxer surely he could have just dotted its eye! Ijs

Like · Reply · Dec 15, 2014 11:34pm

Dolores M. Serna

The whole thing is terrible and they need to bring him back to serve his time in the US not a 3rd world country! I really think it was all in a rage

Like · Reply · Dec 15, 2014 9:00pm

Gerald Alcorn ·

San Diego, California

Justice been served..regardless,of what transpired,one cannot take another human life to satisfy his anger.being a Marine means enough trouble already.they've built such reputation in any port of being on the bad side..one bad seed reflects the good ones..

Like · Reply · Dec 15, 2014 6:11pm

Jess Newman ·

Auburn Career Center

Coming from a Marine he deserved to be charged he's not a victim you don't kill somebody just Bc they are transgender he deserves a bad conduct discharge along with life without parole we will see what he gets