mother good cathoic woman and father golden gloves boxer

My mother was raised in Hollidaysburg PA and a good catholic woman whose roots were deeply seeded in the Catholic Church.  Our family went to church every Sunday and  after mass I went to Sunday School.  She taught me the value of the family.    She came home from work everyday and would cook supper for us.  (three children in my family, younger brother and sister)  The first thing we had to do before going outside to play as kids was our homework.  We also had chores and helped her clean the house. She was very proud that my brother and I served in the military.  Our pictures were on her desk at work.

My mother and I would talk and to be very honest a lot of the times we had very different opinions on topics.  But, our core values of family and integrity were the same.  We both are/were strong willed women and did not back down in our beliefs.  This caused some tension in our relationship but I believe she respected me.  Over the years she would say, “Donald you have thick head, you driving me crazy.”  I don’t back down in my beliefs just like my mother.

Even a good catholic woman like my mother did not believe or follow the catholic churches doctrine all the time.  When I was very young I was talking to my mother about abortion and her response was “ it is a woman’s right to choose.”  To my friends, “does this remind you of anyone?( in the transgendered community there is this unwritten rule that we don’t talk.  Well I believe that is totally wrong and thus I talk about my experience on estrogen. ) neither my mother nor I toe the party line. We do what we think is right but unlike my mother I am much more public about my views about my life. She was a very, very private woman. 

Then there is my father who I was named after, Donald Sr.  He was born and raised in Queens, New York City. He went to a strict Catholic School and his mother, irish, was very strict and very old school.  He also was golden gloves boxer but he never taught us to box because he had seen the damage it does to the body.  He was Insurance Salesman for an insurance company. so much of the week he was away from home.   Go along to get along. That sure was not my father’s motto.  He , like my mother, were very strong willed and very strict.  His words, “ I tried to make a man out of you.”  

In all honesty both my mother and father knew I was different based on things I did  as a child. For example, my father asked me one time “what do you see in her.” I had a female friend in 1977 and boys did not have female friends in that era.  My response was , “ she is my friend.”  When I asked my mother to play the Violin her response was  , “ boys don’t play the violin.”  I also would go the bathroom and watch my mother apply her lipstick and hair spray.  Today I apply it the same way my mother does.  She would say what are you doing? I would say, “ I am just watching.”  My parents knew something was different about me  but in a conservative town  in the 1970 what could they have done differently ? The answer is nothing.  Had I become my true self in the 1970’s the mostly likely thing that would happened, based on statistically data, was suicide.  This is not a nice topic but I am a realist and knew back then I had to keep who I was very private .

So what you get when you mix a good catholic woman with a golden gloves boxer is Rachel….. One strong willed woman that is uncompromising in her values and committed  to achieve her goals.