VA publication does article on me

Hi

well finally someone had the character and credibility to do the right thing and speak the truth on the journey.  Who thought it would be the veteran health care system? not me.  Considering I have not, nor ever will, accept any money or gifts from the Va for my speeches this is a special relationship.  I am blessed to have found so many good people in the largest health care provider in america.
http://www.southernoregon.va.gov/docs/Sourcespringrr2013r.pdf
here  is the link.


thank you to all the fine men and women who helped me through the most vulerable part of my life.

rachel

mother good cathoic woman and father golden gloves boxer

My mother was raised in Hollidaysburg PA and a good catholic woman whose roots were deeply seeded in the Catholic Church.  Our family went to church every Sunday and  after mass I went to Sunday School.  She taught me the value of the family.    She came home from work everyday and would cook supper for us.  (three children in my family, younger brother and sister)  The first thing we had to do before going outside to play as kids was our homework.  We also had chores and helped her clean the house. She was very proud that my brother and I served in the military.  Our pictures were on her desk at work.

My mother and I would talk and to be very honest a lot of the times we had very different opinions on topics.  But, our core values of family and integrity were the same.  We both are/were strong willed women and did not back down in our beliefs.  This caused some tension in our relationship but I believe she respected me.  Over the years she would say, “Donald you have thick head, you driving me crazy.”  I don’t back down in my beliefs just like my mother.

Even a good catholic woman like my mother did not believe or follow the catholic churches doctrine all the time.  When I was very young I was talking to my mother about abortion and her response was “ it is a woman’s right to choose.”  To my friends, “does this remind you of anyone?( in the transgendered community there is this unwritten rule that we don’t talk.  Well I believe that is totally wrong and thus I talk about my experience on estrogen. ) neither my mother nor I toe the party line. We do what we think is right but unlike my mother I am much more public about my views about my life. She was a very, very private woman. 

Then there is my father who I was named after, Donald Sr.  He was born and raised in Queens, New York City. He went to a strict Catholic School and his mother, irish, was very strict and very old school.  He also was golden gloves boxer but he never taught us to box because he had seen the damage it does to the body.  He was Insurance Salesman for an insurance company. so much of the week he was away from home.   Go along to get along. That sure was not my father’s motto.  He , like my mother, were very strong willed and very strict.  His words, “ I tried to make a man out of you.”  

In all honesty both my mother and father knew I was different based on things I did  as a child. For example, my father asked me one time “what do you see in her.” I had a female friend in 1977 and boys did not have female friends in that era.  My response was , “ she is my friend.”  When I asked my mother to play the Violin her response was  , “ boys don’t play the violin.”  I also would go the bathroom and watch my mother apply her lipstick and hair spray.  Today I apply it the same way my mother does.  She would say what are you doing? I would say, “ I am just watching.”  My parents knew something was different about me  but in a conservative town  in the 1970 what could they have done differently ? The answer is nothing.  Had I become my true self in the 1970’s the mostly likely thing that would happened, based on statistically data, was suicide.  This is not a nice topic but I am a realist and knew back then I had to keep who I was very private .

So what you get when you mix a good catholic woman with a golden gloves boxer is Rachel….. One strong willed woman that is uncompromising in her values and committed  to achieve her goals. 

sales position challenges and women in my life

i just officially resigned from my company because  we are not " a good fit."  I had challenges on hormones but .... I met some fantastic people at work and will miss them a great deal. the women at work helped me not only survive the work environment but thrive. One woman serves in a leadership position at the company.

 Last November I was in the zone and in one week had 42 sales in one week and 12 sales in a day.  I thought to myself I still have the gift to sell.  I had numerous hang ups and lost a few sales because of my gender and despite all of that I came up top sales that week.  I thrive on competition and sales brings out the very best in me. 

 I took on challenges that are not for the faint of heart.  The discrimination I faced on the phone, sometimes, was every other call.  But still I took each phone call as an opportunity/challenge to grow.  Customer would say " your name is Rachel?"  I demanded the very best of myself and refused to quit or back down. (marine thing )

How did I respond to "your name is Rachel?" I replied "yes my name is rachel."  Sometimes when asked the same question again I would spell my first name and still others I would spell my first and last name. When referred as sir. I would respond please, ..... it is rachel or miss.  I was unrelenting in my pursuit to succeed in the profession I loved.  My blessing and curse is my motto of " it’s all or nothing."  In this case I succeeded where others like me would make excuses for having a deep voice.I believe that is why I have very little depression is I stop making excuses and demand the very best of myself.

I had a conversation with someone where I use to work.  We talked very open and honestly and I asked the question have you ever met any one like me? The response was, typical one in my world, the transgendered he had met were either drama queens or blended into the work place .... and there is you.  I just want to be me and respected nothing more nothing less.  I am seeking equality not special treatment because of my gender. 

I know people talk about transgendered discrimination but the reality is that the discrimination is not transgendered but being a woman.  This is something that I did not think would be an issue.  Again, I was wrong about so much from the prospective of what challenges I would have to overcome and the reality of the challenges on estrogen.  The women in my life have come to my aid so many times I cannot count.  In all honesty, it has been this way all of my life.( I cry often that the women have in my life have never waived and stood by me no matter what.  I consider myself the luckiest woman on the planet.  Without the good grace of god and the women in my life  there would be no Rachel. This is pure fact.

  As I have told my close friends that my strength is only as the strong as the women around me. I have been able to surround myself with women who are well educated, driven and very ethical.  What do we have so much in common?  Our gender is important to us but not everything in our lives.  Our conversations are about everything from politics,  work,  our struggles in life, our families, and yes some about my gender but it does not dominant the conversation.  We have an emotion connection  and the prospective of a woman and help each other when possible. 

In my darkest hours I have reached out to a few women.  They help guide me through challenges that seemed impossible to overcome.  I have succeeded where others failed because of the women in my life.  Just when I am about to break or give up one of my friends is there to help me work through what seems like hell.  It is my belief that I have grown exponentially because of my environment otherwise the women around me. 

In all honesty my blog which seems so horrible but the  challenges in the blog merely scratch the surface of the challenges on hormones.  I have shared the real story with friends that I would trust with my life.  

 When on hormones at times you cannot make rational decisions because you are in crisis and in a fight or flight mode.  But  since I have the ability to trust and know these women have my best interest at heart.  I follow my friend’s advice and not once have they given me advice that was not in my best interest.  However, I am very careful what I write on my blog and post on facebook because I have the right to go public but they have the right to their privacy. I would never violate their trust.

Another big thank you for the 100’s of women who have helped in my journey of life.