rachel new job and sexual reassignment surgery

I have to get back on top of things and start blogging again.  I have a new job which plays to my strengths and has given me the biggest challenge of my life in the employment area.  I have taken my first job as a woman in an area few, if any other transsexual women, would even dare to take on in a life time.  But, if you know me as others do I live by the principal it is all or nothing. 
After three weeks I am producing sales like I had in the past and the future looks extremely bright.  The added benefit is that my new company’s health insurance has coverage for sexual reassignment. Thus, I want to stay with this company for that reason and the people I work with are so supportive and have welcomed with open arms.
 In fact the women at work, as in my other areas of life, have reached out to me with great warmth and understanding.  I have had conversations with my fellow employees, men and women, about my estrogen treatment and one woman has shared her intimate thoughts of her sexuality and experiences in her life.  By sharing I have learned more about her and myself and have found this so true of many conversations I have had in the past year.
One woman suggested that I needed to develop “thicker skin” because I am hurt so easily.  I thought about that and agreed at the time but now believe that if I did that it would fundamentally change who I am.  I am a very sensitive, loving and a caring woman and would not change anything about me.   I think one of my greatest strength’s is my sensitivity and the ability to open up to people draws others in and I would never change that.

In fact, let me take you to the first weekend of work and give you a snap shot of how my worst fears of discrimination were confirmed in a phone conversation by a customer.  I answered the phone and I said our company name and said this is Rachel how can I help you.  She said , Rachel? I said yes this is Rachel how can I help you?  The female customer said to me , “ I guess your mom wanted a boy?” I did not respond and continued the conversation. The problem was when I hung the phone up.
I thought in the moment that I could deal with the comment. Again, I was so wrong.  I threw my headset down ran from my cubicle and started to cry as I ran to the bathroom.  I cried and cried and thought how could someone be so cruel and mean to me and I am so nice.  The pain cut me so deep and I realized what I thought I could handle I could not in that moment.  ( honestly 50 percent of the calls start with Rachel? I have learned to address this and respond by saying yes this is Rachel and your name is ?)
I came back to my cubicle where a female coworker who was training me was sitting.  I told her exactly what happened on the phone.  She listened and then shared how because of her nationality others have said on the phone you sound like you are …. We shared other private moments of our lives and it helped me work through this horrible experience. Next, I knew the best thing was to take another call and that is what I did and I made two sales that day.  I simply don’t quit but actually I came really close to quitting the job the first week twice but my coworkers and the blonde helped me to work through the several issues. 
But with all my training in years of sales, 2 1/2 hrs of DBT, college education, marine training and raising a teenage daugher and, perhaps most importantly, my friend nathalie by my side  I literally hang on by a thread some days on HRT.  My experience on hormones has challenged and pushed me to the edge only for me to become stronger and stronger but physically and emotionally it takes everything out of me some days.  To the point I am so exhausted I have to sleep to restore my strength and the next day I am so much stronger.
 HRT should not be undertaken lightly because it will test you like you never have tested in your life and if you think you can do it by yourself you will be wrong.  The consequences on HRT could be dire if you are not prepared for the experience and do not have an unshakable support system.  My support system and a positive attitude and my willingness to open up and trust others to help me is what I believe stacks the cards in my favor to succeed.