here is
the excerpt that caught my attention and below is the entire article
however i do not agree with her conclusion of " we want to be woman more
than real woman." i am offended at that but that is her prospective .
it is my prospective that we are more available and seek validation
sexually and become the target of so many men. this is my prospective
and as one guy told me, " you all are just feminine enough" implying
that having sex with a trans person is not a homosexual act in the eyes
of the men that have sex with trans people. also sorting through the
mental health issues is almost impossible bc no one speaks the truth yet
others i think are not able to even verbalize what is going on while
being twisted by society and hormones.
when given options like i have today i would never touch a man, never. however bc of my history with me , to be transparent, at times i take pleasure in putting them in their place. i can also see in the right situation where if a man hurt a friend, female, i would use my body or whatever to get even. but i would never allow a man to touch me sexually ... it is repulsive to me that i allowed this in the past but i sought validation by any means necessary. i have choices now and i can stop pretending to be someone i am not and that is a bisexual woman .
http://www.examiner.com/
This whole phenomenon of transgender love, dating, and sex is very interesting to me for several reasons: First, because I identify myself as a woman. Yes I admit, of transgendered origins (OK?), but I never wanted to be TG, TS, TV, CD, tranny or shemale… just a girl.
Secondly, because I am a biologist with a published background in human sexuality and attraction based upon evolutionary and ecological considerations such as natural selection, sexual selection, mating rituals, and adaptive advantages of physical and behavioral traits (i.e. The Science of Sex, Gender, and Sexual Orientation).
Further, and “yes” to those who take sadistic pleasure in reminding me that I was born something else, because I was of course, but I now Identify myself as and relate to being a Straight Woman who is attracted only to straight men, those who are only attracted to women… including me.
While researching a story on an unrelated article for possible future publication in the "National Transgender & Transsexual Issues Column", I stumbled across a piece that was written by a writer/editor for a scientific publication, Candace "Miss Suzi" Suzanne.
Aside from being a writer and editor, Miss Suzi is a transgender woman and former proprietress of "Miss Suzi's Studio and Boutique" in Buffalo, New York. For 10 years Miss Suzi's boutique sold sexy, glamorous clothing, wigs, lingerie, and shoes. It also did makeover transformations, and provided a place for girls of ALL kinds (GG, TV, CD, TG, TS, DQ, Shemale... etc.) to come and hang out, to learn, and to explore their feminine identities.
For years Miss Suzi often wondered the same question... Why do straight men love transgendered women? Not only does she have a theory behind the reason why, but she would she would like to share her theory with the readers of the "National Transgender & Transsexual Issues Column" as well. Regardless of whether or not you agree with Miss Suzi’s theory, She has a valid point that many can learn from....
Gender Diversity and Sexual Attraction:
Why Do Straight Men Love Transgendered Women?
Written by: Candace Suzanne, aka: Miss Suzi
Why do so many straight men want to have sex with or to be in love with transgendered women? I have thought about, discussed, and researched this phenomenon for years and it boils down to this:
We LOVE being women more than most genetic women.
And much more important than that… We do not ever take our femininity for granted the way so many genetic women do. Many of us have sacrificed home, family, friends, careers, fortunes, and hours and hours of hard work each day to be the women we have become.
That is what I believe turns men on the most, the "Hey, Look at me; I'm sexy!" attitude that their wives and girlfriends have either lost or never have gotten quite right. He is probably afraid of the whole homo-thing of course... but quite needlessly so. I have found that the men who date me are more courageous and more masculine and more loving of sexy women than anyone who would not or could not love a special lady.
Sometimes a gentleman just wants to be with a woman who really loves being a woman. He longs for a woman who appreciates his desires and his need to look at, to talk with, to touch, to kiss, and to love a woman in high heels, nylons, lipstick, lace, and perfume with soft smooth shiny skin. He desires a woman who gives her undivided attention just to him. He wants a woman who does not make him feel stupid, queer, or unmasculine when he expresses his love of her femininity and his deepest longings to her.
There may be some fetishistic components to the desire of straight men for all women who do the girlie girl thing including transgendered women. Men do love women who wear nylons, high heels, and lipstick. Their overall perception of women and femininity was conditioned by years and years of reinforcement (mostly masturbatory and orgasmic) by the ultra feminine stereotype of womanhood... by so-called "real" women.
Perhaps there even may be one or two ultra feminine women in their lives... mother, aunt, sister, wife who started out ultra feminine and girlish but who gave up her ideal of femininity (in his eyes) after marriage or childbirth... leaving him all alone in the lurch with his attraction to feminine glamorous girlie-girl women unrequited for evermore!
Why shouldn't every man, at least once in his life, have his greatest fantasies and deeply instilled desires fulfilled? Television, advertising, movies, pornography, an occasional woman or two in public, or perhaps even his own wife or girlfriend already have teased him for years and years while intentionally or unintentionally holding the object of his greatest unfulfilled desires just out of his reach. This all too common form of sexual suppression and repression seems sadly and needlessly cruel to me.
When a married man comes to me because I love to wear lipstick and nail polish and lacy underwear and nylons and high heels and long hair with ribbons and bows as I flirt and smile and tease, I know he is cheating on his wife and I hate to be a part of all that. However, I also know that his desire is so intense that it goes right to the very depths of his soul. Stimulating that desire and satisfying it goes right to the very depths of mine.
The greatest compliments that I have ever received have been from men who say that I make them feel more like a man than any other woman ever has. The most satisfying thing to me is to be able nurture his deep desire and to satisfy his deepest longings in ways that no other woman ever has or will… and to do so willingly... the way a loving mother tenderly feeds and nurtures a hungry child.
To me, Nurture IS the very essence of femininity and it defines me as a woman, fulfills my desires, and satisfies the deepest longings in my soul as well.
Just so we completely understand each other, I choose to identify myself as a Straight Woman and I only identify with straight women but not with “TV, CD, TG, TS, tranny, or shemale”. I never ever wanted to be one of those acronyms, diagnoses, or slang epithets. All I ever wanted to be is just a girl. My desire for a man is only as a straight woman.
I do not desire to be or to be thought of as gay or bisexual… even though at some technical level, I suppose, I just might very well be. “Top-Bottom-BI” talk directed at me sickens me and is highly insulting to me and to everything that I have sacrificed in my life just to be a woman.
I also do not wish to be with GG (genetic girl) women or TG women, who are ALL women and sisters to me anyway. I prefer to only date a straight man who loves women. Preferably, he has never even been with TG women before either. His apprehension is a little bit exciting and flattering to me and is quite OK. I find it so satisfying when he quickly or ultimately settles into just enjoying my feminine charms and attribute with little or no concern for my XY origins.
I am very romantic and actually kind of old fashioned too in many ways. I just love to kiss and tease and flirt and make love as a woman by doing only the things that women do (but way better of course, Teeheehee!) and only with a man who loves only women. I know there are men who fantasize about being entered by a “shemale” or whose focus is to suck upon her presumed penis; but that stems from their homosexual and bisexual identity. It is just not for me.
I have always kind of quizzed the fellas who ask me out... more of a test really... to see if their interest is more in the penis that they think I may (or may not) have OR in the Lady/Woman/Girl that I present and for which I wish to be wanted.
If the Penis holds low or moderate interest to him and he has good manners, I will date him. But, if Penis is his primary interest or major focus, then I drop him like a hot potato because he is more gay or bisexual than he is interested in my femininity. That turns me right off right away and I just have no desire to go there.
In fact, I find it insulting and disappointing to be wanted for that reason. My femininity must always come first in their desires. The honoring of a woman's femininity or a man's masculinity is the very essence of Chivalry. And in my case anyway... is what will, in fact, make the wildest dreams come true for a gentleman who really loves women... and then my dreams come true as well.
If a man is attracted to me but is rather afraid of my potential penis or even avoids my nether-regions entirely, I take it as a compliment that only increases my desire to be with him and my comfort in doing so. Please do not love me or want me BECAUSE I am transgendered. Please love me IN SPITE of my transgenderedness.
Similarly do not ever tell a fat girl that you love her or want her because she is fat... even if it is true... she does not want to hear it or to be loved or wanted for that reason either. See?
This whole phenomenon of transgender love, dating, and sex is very interesting to me for several reasons: First, because I identify myself as a woman. Yes I admit, of transgendered origins (OK?), but I never wanted to be TG, TS, TV, CD, tranny or shemale… just a girl.
Secondly, because I am a biologist with a published background in human sexuality and attraction based upon evolutionary and ecological considerations such as natural selection, sexual selection, mating rituals, and adaptive advantages of physical and behavioral traits (i.e. The Science of Sex, Gender, and Sexual Orientation).
Further, and “yes” to those who take sadistic pleasure in reminding me that I was born something else, because I was of course, but I now Identify myself as and relate to being a Straight Woman who is attracted only to straight men, those who are only attracted to women… including me.
Yes, many readers here are quite correct in their assumption that some men will approach transgendered women because of their latent homosexuality, bisexuality, or merely a desire to get a hold of and do things with a penis. Personally, I avoid penis chasers like the plague. That is just so insulting both to me and to my long-suffered-for and hard-won femininity.
As soon as a man or potential date mentions “top-bottom, girl-with-something-extra, do-me, wants to wear my shoes, or claims to be bisexual or curious”, I drop him immediately as a total turn-off.
On a personal dating level, I take careful advance measures to rule these guys OUT for dating purposes as well as any other TG or genetic women because, the motives of my sexual partner are very important to me and I wish to be desired for only what I consider to be "The Right Reasons". That is what turns me on and fulfills my needs. I like men who like women.
That is what works for me, but yes of course, I do see how many people might consider ALL of this stuff to be gay or queer or bi or something like that in their eyes anyway. But, my fantasy and my reality is only as an old fashioned romantic feminine girl who loves to be loved by a masculine straight man who loves only sexy women and who sees me as one. (And he, of course, does not ever wear our clothes, Teeheehee!)
Old-fashioned Chivalry is the polite but strongly militant defense of masculinity and femininity. It is and should well be clearly understood that, “If you treat me like a lady, I will make you feel like a man.” Old-fashioned Chivalry turns me on.
The guarding of masculinity and femininity in this fashion IS the essence of Chivalry.
Chivalry is a wonderfully kind, most respectful, and sexually fulfilling concept that has been lost by the ill mannered of society today. (I am so sorry if your own Mommy and Daddy did not teach you chivalry or manners; they have cheated you out of the best sex and possibly even real love with the most fulfilling and highest quality people.)
The wisest and most considerate gentleman of today will always remember that it is a woman’s desire to be treated like a lady, and it is his responsibility to treat her as a lady. She in return will make him feel more like the man that he is… more than any other woman ever has.
I am not saying that the way I feel is similar to or in common with all other transgendered women and their gentleman admirers. As in ALL things, there is a whole range of diversity across all of the various spectra that define who we are.
Again, to me, the nurture of others IS the very essence of femininity and it defines me as a woman; it fulfills my desires; and it satisfies the deepest longings in my soul as well.
Contact Miss Suzi:
* You can email Candace Suzanne (aka Miss Suzi) at: Soosieanne@aol.com, or “friend” her on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/
when given options like i have today i would never touch a man, never. however bc of my history with me , to be transparent, at times i take pleasure in putting them in their place. i can also see in the right situation where if a man hurt a friend, female, i would use my body or whatever to get even. but i would never allow a man to touch me sexually ... it is repulsive to me that i allowed this in the past but i sought validation by any means necessary. i have choices now and i can stop pretending to be someone i am not and that is a bisexual woman .
http://www.examiner.com/
This whole phenomenon of transgender love, dating, and sex is very interesting to me for several reasons: First, because I identify myself as a woman. Yes I admit, of transgendered origins (OK?), but I never wanted to be TG, TS, TV, CD, tranny or shemale… just a girl.
Secondly, because I am a biologist with a published background in human sexuality and attraction based upon evolutionary and ecological considerations such as natural selection, sexual selection, mating rituals, and adaptive advantages of physical and behavioral traits (i.e. The Science of Sex, Gender, and Sexual Orientation).
Further, and “yes” to those who take sadistic pleasure in reminding me that I was born something else, because I was of course, but I now Identify myself as and relate to being a Straight Woman who is attracted only to straight men, those who are only attracted to women… including me.
Why straight men love transgendered women
Tammy-Girl Publishing
For
transgender women who are attracted to men, relationships and dating in
general can be a challenge. Regardless of whether or not you are pre-op
or post-op, a large number of men will not date a transgender woman for
a variety of reasons. Some men won't date transgender women because
they feel that we are not “real” women. Other men won't date transgender
women because they naively feel that it would question their sexuality.
Sometimes the reason men won't date transgender women is simply out of
transphobia, naivety, and/or fear. Regardless of what the reasons are,
the fact of the matter is that there are a large percentage of men who
will not date a transgender woman simply for the fact that they are
transgender.
Candace Suzanne, aka: Miss Suzi
How about the other side of the coin though? There are a large
percentage of men who not only will date a pre or post-op transgender
woman, but who actually seek out and prefer transgender women over
genetically born women ... men who are “straight”, not gay or bisexual.
Have you ever wondered why some straight men prefer transgender women?While researching a story on an unrelated article for possible future publication in the "National Transgender & Transsexual Issues Column", I stumbled across a piece that was written by a writer/editor for a scientific publication, Candace "Miss Suzi" Suzanne.
Aside from being a writer and editor, Miss Suzi is a transgender woman and former proprietress of "Miss Suzi's Studio and Boutique" in Buffalo, New York. For 10 years Miss Suzi's boutique sold sexy, glamorous clothing, wigs, lingerie, and shoes. It also did makeover transformations, and provided a place for girls of ALL kinds (GG, TV, CD, TG, TS, DQ, Shemale... etc.) to come and hang out, to learn, and to explore their feminine identities.
For years Miss Suzi often wondered the same question... Why do straight men love transgendered women? Not only does she have a theory behind the reason why, but she would she would like to share her theory with the readers of the "National Transgender & Transsexual Issues Column" as well. Regardless of whether or not you agree with Miss Suzi’s theory, She has a valid point that many can learn from....
Gender Diversity and Sexual Attraction:
Why Do Straight Men Love Transgendered Women?
Written by: Candace Suzanne, aka: Miss Suzi
Why do so many straight men want to have sex with or to be in love with transgendered women? I have thought about, discussed, and researched this phenomenon for years and it boils down to this:
We LOVE being women more than most genetic women.
And much more important than that… We do not ever take our femininity for granted the way so many genetic women do. Many of us have sacrificed home, family, friends, careers, fortunes, and hours and hours of hard work each day to be the women we have become.
That is what I believe turns men on the most, the "Hey, Look at me; I'm sexy!" attitude that their wives and girlfriends have either lost or never have gotten quite right. He is probably afraid of the whole homo-thing of course... but quite needlessly so. I have found that the men who date me are more courageous and more masculine and more loving of sexy women than anyone who would not or could not love a special lady.
Sometimes a gentleman just wants to be with a woman who really loves being a woman. He longs for a woman who appreciates his desires and his need to look at, to talk with, to touch, to kiss, and to love a woman in high heels, nylons, lipstick, lace, and perfume with soft smooth shiny skin. He desires a woman who gives her undivided attention just to him. He wants a woman who does not make him feel stupid, queer, or unmasculine when he expresses his love of her femininity and his deepest longings to her.
There may be some fetishistic components to the desire of straight men for all women who do the girlie girl thing including transgendered women. Men do love women who wear nylons, high heels, and lipstick. Their overall perception of women and femininity was conditioned by years and years of reinforcement (mostly masturbatory and orgasmic) by the ultra feminine stereotype of womanhood... by so-called "real" women.
Perhaps there even may be one or two ultra feminine women in their lives... mother, aunt, sister, wife who started out ultra feminine and girlish but who gave up her ideal of femininity (in his eyes) after marriage or childbirth... leaving him all alone in the lurch with his attraction to feminine glamorous girlie-girl women unrequited for evermore!
Why shouldn't every man, at least once in his life, have his greatest fantasies and deeply instilled desires fulfilled? Television, advertising, movies, pornography, an occasional woman or two in public, or perhaps even his own wife or girlfriend already have teased him for years and years while intentionally or unintentionally holding the object of his greatest unfulfilled desires just out of his reach. This all too common form of sexual suppression and repression seems sadly and needlessly cruel to me.
When a married man comes to me because I love to wear lipstick and nail polish and lacy underwear and nylons and high heels and long hair with ribbons and bows as I flirt and smile and tease, I know he is cheating on his wife and I hate to be a part of all that. However, I also know that his desire is so intense that it goes right to the very depths of his soul. Stimulating that desire and satisfying it goes right to the very depths of mine.
The greatest compliments that I have ever received have been from men who say that I make them feel more like a man than any other woman ever has. The most satisfying thing to me is to be able nurture his deep desire and to satisfy his deepest longings in ways that no other woman ever has or will… and to do so willingly... the way a loving mother tenderly feeds and nurtures a hungry child.
To me, Nurture IS the very essence of femininity and it defines me as a woman, fulfills my desires, and satisfies the deepest longings in my soul as well.
Just so we completely understand each other, I choose to identify myself as a Straight Woman and I only identify with straight women but not with “TV, CD, TG, TS, tranny, or shemale”. I never ever wanted to be one of those acronyms, diagnoses, or slang epithets. All I ever wanted to be is just a girl. My desire for a man is only as a straight woman.
I do not desire to be or to be thought of as gay or bisexual… even though at some technical level, I suppose, I just might very well be. “Top-Bottom-BI” talk directed at me sickens me and is highly insulting to me and to everything that I have sacrificed in my life just to be a woman.
I also do not wish to be with GG (genetic girl) women or TG women, who are ALL women and sisters to me anyway. I prefer to only date a straight man who loves women. Preferably, he has never even been with TG women before either. His apprehension is a little bit exciting and flattering to me and is quite OK. I find it so satisfying when he quickly or ultimately settles into just enjoying my feminine charms and attribute with little or no concern for my XY origins.
I am very romantic and actually kind of old fashioned too in many ways. I just love to kiss and tease and flirt and make love as a woman by doing only the things that women do (but way better of course, Teeheehee!) and only with a man who loves only women. I know there are men who fantasize about being entered by a “shemale” or whose focus is to suck upon her presumed penis; but that stems from their homosexual and bisexual identity. It is just not for me.
I have always kind of quizzed the fellas who ask me out... more of a test really... to see if their interest is more in the penis that they think I may (or may not) have OR in the Lady/Woman/Girl that I present and for which I wish to be wanted.
If the Penis holds low or moderate interest to him and he has good manners, I will date him. But, if Penis is his primary interest or major focus, then I drop him like a hot potato because he is more gay or bisexual than he is interested in my femininity. That turns me right off right away and I just have no desire to go there.
In fact, I find it insulting and disappointing to be wanted for that reason. My femininity must always come first in their desires. The honoring of a woman's femininity or a man's masculinity is the very essence of Chivalry. And in my case anyway... is what will, in fact, make the wildest dreams come true for a gentleman who really loves women... and then my dreams come true as well.
If a man is attracted to me but is rather afraid of my potential penis or even avoids my nether-regions entirely, I take it as a compliment that only increases my desire to be with him and my comfort in doing so. Please do not love me or want me BECAUSE I am transgendered. Please love me IN SPITE of my transgenderedness.
Similarly do not ever tell a fat girl that you love her or want her because she is fat... even if it is true... she does not want to hear it or to be loved or wanted for that reason either. See?
This whole phenomenon of transgender love, dating, and sex is very interesting to me for several reasons: First, because I identify myself as a woman. Yes I admit, of transgendered origins (OK?), but I never wanted to be TG, TS, TV, CD, tranny or shemale… just a girl.
Secondly, because I am a biologist with a published background in human sexuality and attraction based upon evolutionary and ecological considerations such as natural selection, sexual selection, mating rituals, and adaptive advantages of physical and behavioral traits (i.e. The Science of Sex, Gender, and Sexual Orientation).
Further, and “yes” to those who take sadistic pleasure in reminding me that I was born something else, because I was of course, but I now Identify myself as and relate to being a Straight Woman who is attracted only to straight men, those who are only attracted to women… including me.
Yes, many readers here are quite correct in their assumption that some men will approach transgendered women because of their latent homosexuality, bisexuality, or merely a desire to get a hold of and do things with a penis. Personally, I avoid penis chasers like the plague. That is just so insulting both to me and to my long-suffered-for and hard-won femininity.
As soon as a man or potential date mentions “top-bottom, girl-with-something-extra, do-me, wants to wear my shoes, or claims to be bisexual or curious”, I drop him immediately as a total turn-off.
On a personal dating level, I take careful advance measures to rule these guys OUT for dating purposes as well as any other TG or genetic women because, the motives of my sexual partner are very important to me and I wish to be desired for only what I consider to be "The Right Reasons". That is what turns me on and fulfills my needs. I like men who like women.
That is what works for me, but yes of course, I do see how many people might consider ALL of this stuff to be gay or queer or bi or something like that in their eyes anyway. But, my fantasy and my reality is only as an old fashioned romantic feminine girl who loves to be loved by a masculine straight man who loves only sexy women and who sees me as one. (And he, of course, does not ever wear our clothes, Teeheehee!)
Old-fashioned Chivalry is the polite but strongly militant defense of masculinity and femininity. It is and should well be clearly understood that, “If you treat me like a lady, I will make you feel like a man.” Old-fashioned Chivalry turns me on.
The guarding of masculinity and femininity in this fashion IS the essence of Chivalry.
Chivalry is a wonderfully kind, most respectful, and sexually fulfilling concept that has been lost by the ill mannered of society today. (I am so sorry if your own Mommy and Daddy did not teach you chivalry or manners; they have cheated you out of the best sex and possibly even real love with the most fulfilling and highest quality people.)
The wisest and most considerate gentleman of today will always remember that it is a woman’s desire to be treated like a lady, and it is his responsibility to treat her as a lady. She in return will make him feel more like the man that he is… more than any other woman ever has.
I am not saying that the way I feel is similar to or in common with all other transgendered women and their gentleman admirers. As in ALL things, there is a whole range of diversity across all of the various spectra that define who we are.
Again, to me, the nurture of others IS the very essence of femininity and it defines me as a woman; it fulfills my desires; and it satisfies the deepest longings in my soul as well.
Contact Miss Suzi:
* You can email Candace Suzanne (aka Miss Suzi) at: Soosieanne@aol.com, or “friend” her on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/
